Make no assumptions of what I really mean.

Asian Fish Tostadas w/ Slaw

2012-01-30T14:29:00.003-05:00

A couple summers back we had a pot luck at the neighborhood pier for an outdoor screening of Jaws. I decided to get bold with the two hours I had to prep, cook, pack and get there. I wanted to make fish tacos, but that was going to call for a lot of food for everyone to have one, and there were going to be plenty of other things there to eat.
So, I decided to make a smaller version - tostada style. Additionally, instead of doing the popular Mexican/Tex-Mex version, I went with an Asian flavor with a wasabi sour cream.

Main Ingredients:

3 lb. tilapia (or any other fish you want to use), cut into 1 x 2 inch strips/chunks

1 pack gyoza wrappings

Spice for the fish (in a bag to toss around):

1 cup flour

2 tsp Chinese 5 spice

2 tsp garlic powder

2 tsp roasted sesame seeds

2 tsp black sesame seeds

2 tsp ginger powder

3 tsp salt

2 tsp white pepper

2 tsp cayenne

Canola oil (for cooking)

Sesame oil (for cooking)

Toss fish chunks in flour-spice mixture and add a few at a time to already hot oil in skillet on medium to medium-high heat. Cook for about 2 minutes on each side, place on brown bag or paper towel to absorb grease.

Cut gyoza rounds in half and place individually to cover baking sheet. Toast in 450*F oven for about 30-45 second or until browning on edges. Keep an eye on these, tho. If the center starts to brown, they will burn real quick. once toasted, dump them out in basket or bowl so they no longer are on the hot baking sheet.

For the Asian cole slaw:

1 small head napa cabbage, shredded

1/2 small head of purple cabbage, shredded

1 red bell pepper, julienned

2 carrots, peeled & julienned

1 small red onion, finely diced

3 scallions (white and green parts), finely cut

In separate bowl whisk:

3 tbsp grated ginger

3 tsp garlic paste

4 tbsp rice wine vinegar (or white vinegar)

2 1/2 tbsp dark brown sugar

1-2 tsp of sambal or sriracha sauce

4-5 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp roasted sesames

1 tsp black sesame

Pour the dressing over the veggies and refrigerate for 30+ minutes.

1 small container of plain sour cream

2-5 tsp wasabi paste, as per your preference

Once everything's made, you can put it out and let everyone make their own. You're done.

Chicken & Andouille Gumbo

2012-01-28T22:15:00.009-05:00

So... I love making gumbo. Love it. I usually make a big batch and feed the neighborhood orphans (aka, my friends). But, in these trying economic times... sorry guys. So, in the spirit of *teach a man to fish,* here's how to do it yourself:

Whatcha need for about 5 qts. of gumbo:

1 large chicken

chicken stock

1 lb. andouille sausage

2 large onions, diced

2 red pepper

2 green pepper

4 stalks celery, chopped (optional... cuz I hate celery)

6-8 cloves garlic, minced

2 lb. okra, chopped in rounds

3 bay leaves (again optional... I don't normally use it)

salt, garlic powder, white pepper, black pepper, cayenne pepper, file

3/4 c. flour

3/4 c. canola oil (or veg oil)

1/4 c. butter

Whatcha do:

First thing's first. Boil your chicken. Rinse the chicken, then put it in the pot. Fill the water up to top the bird, throw it on the stove and boil it. Well, bring it to a boil, then lower the heat so it simmers pretty hard. Can't rightly say how long... an hour? Hour and a half? Basically, you wanna cook the thing til the legs easily pull off. Take the chicken out and put it in the fridge to cool. Strain the juice into a container (to get the lil bits out), and set aside. You're gunna be using this lovely stock in the gumbo.

While the chicken's cooling, it's time to make your roux. It's up to you to decide how lazy you are and how much flavor you want in your gumbo. The roux decides all of that. Put your oil in the pot and return the pot to a medium fire. After the oil gets hot enough, put the butter in and melt it down. Once melted and stirred together, add the flour, in parts, and start stirring. Keep on stirring at all times, not letting any of the roux sit too long. Basically, you're cooking the flour. The longer you cook, the darker it gets. The darker it gets, the more flavor you get. I say give yourself at least 45 minutes or medium heat slow cooking.

If you have talent, and can do two things at once, while you're doing the roux can also be a good time to saute your okra. A lot of people don't like okra gumbo cuz they're either stupid or crazy. Crazy, cuz it's not truly gumbo without okra; stupid because they don't know how to properly prepare okra to avoid the sliminess, which is basically why they don't like okra in their gumbo. If you saute the okra on a medium-high heat in some oil, the okra *slime* will fry up and brown the okra in a nice crunchy way. Just make sure you don't stop focusing on keeping your roux moving.

After the roux's come to the color you want, throw in the onion, peppers and garlic, and start sauteing them. You can throw celery in there too, if you want. I personally can't stand celery (especially cooked), so I normally don't include it. But there you go. Anyso, saute all these together in the roux til they're soft. Then throw in your okra. Mix all that around. Start adding the chicken stock. I say at least 2 quarts (8 cups), to start. But, as usual, I can't really say how much to measure it. Add you spices: salt, white and black peppers, cayenne, garlic powder and bay leaves. I like to also add the file during the cooking, but some people argue that it's suppose to be at the serving time. Feh. As always with me, put a few dashes (a couple dashes of the cayenne) and see how it tastes. As it cooks, the flavors will come out more, so you can add more as you need.

Bring this to a boil, cover and simmer for about two hours. You may need to add more stock as it cooks down.

While that's cooking, get your chicken out and start pulling and breaking up the meat into chunks. As for the andouille, you have two types: the processed kind you can find in the grocery store, or the real deal smoked andouille, that you really can only get in Louisiana. (I don't care what other people say. Jacob's in La Place is the best - http://www.cajunsausage.com/) Cut em into rounds, halves or quarters. I prefer the quartered so they're bite size and more to go around... but that's just me.

After you've let the gumbo cook for a bit, add your chicken and andouille. Let that cook for another 30 minutes or so. Now... you can either make yourself some rice, and bowl up or you can wait til the next day. I prefer letting it cool and sit over night. Chow down with some nice French bread, and have the file and the hot sauce waiting.

Chocolate-Coconut Cake

2012-01-28T21:56:00.005-05:00

Make This!!! Make it!!! It's good!!! And pretty!!! And easy!!!

I was assigned to bring dessert to a dinner party, but it's 17 degrees outside, so I wasn't too interested on going out before I had to, and don't really like store bought stuff. So, I thought on what ingredients I had, and boom... decided on this.

The recipe I found online called for the coconut and chocolate to be sprinkled on the top, but I thought that could lead to burning and scorching, so I did it after the fact. Yum!

Sift together:

1 3/4 c. Flour

2 tsp. Baking powder

1 tsp. Salt

Add 1 c. Dry coconut

Cream:

3/4 c. Sugar

1/3 c. Coconut or veg oil

1 tsp. Vanilla extract

Add 2 eggs, room temp

Mix into creamed mixture:

In 3 parts dry mix

In 2 parts 1 c. Coconut milk

In 2 parts 4 oz. Bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

Preheat 350* F

Butter bottom n sides of cake pan

Bake 45-50 minutes

Toast 3/4 c. Dry coconut

Glaze:

1/2 c. Powdered sugar

3-5 tbsp. Coconut milk

1/3 tsp. Vanilla extract

Ganache:

3 oz. Bittersweet chocolate, chopped

1/4 c. Coconut milk

Double boil - mix and melt the two together in a lass bowl over a pot of simmering water.

Once cake is done, flip/transfer onto plate. Brush glaze on top, sprinkle toasted coconut. Drizzle ganache and glaze all over.

Roasted Crimini Mushroom Soup

2012-01-28T19:07:00.004-05:00

Roasted Crimini Mushroom Soup

30 large crinimi mushroom caps

2 carrots, peeled and halved length wise

1 large onion, diced

1 small Idaho potato, finely diced

3-3.5 cups chicken or veggie stock

1 small carton Heavy cream

2 tbsp. butter

1-2 tsp. Thyme

1/2-1 tsp. Chili flakes (preferably not the seeds)

Olive oil

Salt & Pepper

Preheat oven to 425*F

- Prepare foiled baking sheet with olive oil and lay carrots and mushroom caps on. Lightly spray olive oil on all. Roast for 15 minutes.

- While mushrooms and carrots are roasting, on med-low heat caramelize onions and potato, stirring often. (I did it near to the point of the French onion soup caramelization, but you don't have to if you don't want to take that much time.)

- Once roasted and cooled, finely dice carrots and mushrooms. Reserve liquid that formed during roasting.

- When onions/taters have gotten to the level you want them, stir in the roasted liquid, then the carrots. Let carrots saute with onions for 5-10 minutes, then add mushrooms. - Saute all together for 5 minutes, then add stock - just enough to cover the vegetables - as well as thyme, salt & pepper (to taste).

- Cover and let simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally as well adding more stock if need more.

- Using immersion blender (or a regular one in batches), puree vegetables to preferred consistency. (I didn't want mine chunky.)

- Add heavy cream to preferred amount. (I used maybe 1/2-3/4 cup.)

I let mine simmer a little longer (maybe 10 minutes) before I ate. It is sooooooooo good!!!

You can drizzle a tiny bit of nice olive oil, or have it with some croutons, if you want to add to it. Make this. It's really amazing.

Bon appetit!

Yakibuta Ramen

2012-01-27T12:45:00.003-05:00

This is three recipes combine for the final dish:

Recipe 1: Yakibuta (Roated pork)

Marinade overnight a 2-3 lb. pork loin roast, shoulder, belly or neck in the following:

1 cup (360ml) soy sauce
1/2 cup water
3 Tbs. rice wine vinegar
3 Tbs. oyster sauce
5 Tbs. sugar
1/2 cup shaoxing wine (紹興酒）or sake or dry sherry
1 inch of fresh ginger, peeled and sliced
1 small onion, peeled and cut into quarters
2 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed with a knife
1 cinnamon stick
2 small piece of star anise
1 clove

Preheat to 450*F, then cook the roast and marinade for 15 minutes in a dutch oven with lid on. Turn heat down to 250*F for 1-1.5 hours, basting every fifteen minutes, and turn it over every 30.

Once the internal temp is 160*F, it's done. Remove and let the meat rest. While that's happening, but the marinade and now juices from the pork on the stove on med-high heat. Scrape off all the lovely bits, then add 3-4 cups of water, for the broth.

If you can get your hands on authentic ramen, do it. They're the best. If not, believe it or not the cheapo Top Ramen doesn't kill the dish, heh.

Toppings can be anything you want, but I went with:
- fresh baby spinach
- red bell pepper
- scallion
- fresh shitake mushroom
- snow pea shoots (much better than munk and alfalfa, in my opinion)
- poached egg
- nori
- silken tofu (extra firm)

Slice the meat semi-thin, add the (already cooked) noodles to the bowl with the broth, then let the eater top as they like.

Day 2: Bell's Island to Kitty Hawk/Kill Devil Hills

2009-09-08T11:27:00.007-04:00

We woke before dawn, hearing a couple men down the way getting their boat ready to go out crabbing. One of their dogs came wandering over to greet us as we came out of the tent. In the most nonchalant way, he said hello, sniffed around, then wandered into the water and swam back over to the boatmen.

We broke camp down as the sun rose, and were on the road by 7am.

Of course, within 20 minutes we were ready to eat. (Didn't eat too much the night before, heh.) Because of the learning experience from the night before, we didn't want to take our chances. So, the first area we came to that had more than one business, we started looking but were kinda worried. The only restaurant in the area was a BBQ joint, with the neon sign shining *open,* but ain't nobody there.
I decided to stop in at a gas station and ask where the closest breakfast joint was. The man behind the counter gruffly said *right here.* There was a big ole kitchen area back there by him, but I didn't see anyone cooking. But, we decided to play it safe, anyway.
Everything to choose from was already made, but it was homemade... not some stupid microwaved egg breakfast. Homemade biscuit with fried egg, cheese and bacon. (Ethan had the sausage... must say, it was even better.) And tho, yes, it was probably 10 times better than anything because of the previous meal and the work made to get to it, it was a really tasty breakfast... and amazing for a gas station.

Back onto Hwy 168... sigh. (Note: eventually Hwy 168 merged onto Hwy 158. This was not an improvement.)
As it was Sunday morning, the southbound traffic seemed a little thinner, but as the day passed and we moved further south, it seemed to be fairly busy. Of course, we were fortunate that we were headed the way we were, because the northbound traffic -those leaving the OBX to go home to their workweek- was nonstop insane.

We took a photo op of the (apparently) world famous Grave Digger Monster Truck.

Ummm... yeah. There. Moving on...

We kept on keeping on, tho for some reason this day was just miserable for me. About thirty minutes after leaving the monster truck place, I had to stop and take a couple Advil. Of course, stopping was not something Ethan wanted to do, but too bad.
In doing so, we lucked out. While we were stopped, less than a mile away, there was a northbound accident that was being cleaned up. Some man in an SUV, also moving northbound, was paying attention to his GPS and swerved across the southbound lane to avoid the traffic that was stopped due to the accident, smashed into a minivan, sending it spinning off the road. The SUV flipped multiple times in such high speed that it flipped over a giant ditch and landed on its side (the bottom facing the road) in a parking lot.
I like to think, had we not stopped, that we would have gotten past that spot before that happened, but taking into consideration I was so miserable I was definitely riding slower... so who knows. Coulda been involved in that. But, it didn't happen. Sigh of relief.

After about ten miles we stopped at Grandy Greenhouse & Farm Market. A man and his family suggested we get the peach soft serve, so... tasty dessert we had.

After feeling relaxed and refreshed, we hopped back on the bikes for the last 18 miles on this evil highway and landing in the Outer Banks. The best thing of those last miles was going over the 3 mile long Wright Memorial Bridge into Kitty Hawk. Cars were almost nonexistent on our side, and it was just so nice and free to be surrounded by water... not to mention it meant we finally made it to the Outer Banks and close to the end of our trek for the day.

We stopped, of course, for a photo op at the Welcome sign after coming off the bridge.

While getting our bearings and figuring out the next stage, Ethan ran across the street to help a southern poster boy: shirtless, mini-mullet (not hipster-style by any means), southern boy with a stalled, 1980s pick-up truck on the outgoing side. Poor guy couldn't have weighed more than 120 lbs, and was trying to push the truck to the side of the road.

Good deed of the day.

We hopped back on the bikes and made the quick decision to get off of Hwy 158. Oh joy, how wonderful a decision this was! We took a right onto The Woods Rd, onto a lovely, little, winding, off-the-road bike path that was nearly always in the shade of these beautiful green trees. (The colors of trees are so much prettier up close!)
While on the path, we stopped to read a landmark sign, and figure out our camping options. There had been an older couple who we passed earlier on the path, who caught up with stopped to talk to us. After giving them our brief lowdown about our trek, they started telling us about how to get where, what to see, where to eat and the general idea of directions.

We took their advice, and headed to the Black Pelican for lunch. Oh what great advice it was! Fish fritters, mixed greens salad with a lemon vinegarette dressing and spicy shrimp & grits. Best part - BLUE MOON BEER!

We ate while looking over the dune at the Atlantic Ocean with a nice breeze blowing, which topped it all over.
Our waitress, we'll call her Daisy, was a transplant who now considers herself a local. We struck up small talk conversation about living in the area year round, particularly curious about passing the time during the off season. Her answer... *Drugs.* It wasn't too far fetched a response, and we absolutely believed her. Two words: Meth Mouth. Heh. The teeth just... just... yeah. Not pretty.

After taking a nice amount of time relaxing, we hit the road and headed South down the N Virginia Dare trail, which basically runs right along the beach. It was around 2pm, and we needed to make the decision on where to camp. We really wanted to be close to the ocean, if not right on it, but the only official camp grounds in the Kitty Hawk/Kill Devil Kills area was in the national park, which was pretty much smack dab in the middle of the island.
I guess in passing all these amazing beach houses, not to mention the hotels, and just wanted so badly to be in the ocean, it got in our heads that maaaaaaaybe we could find ourselves a hotel room and get a good night sleep in a bed. I mean... we did have a 65+ ride to reckon with the next day. So, a good night sleep would benefit us. Right? Heh
We explored and toured the trail for a few miles, stopping at various hotels and motels to see what they had available. The first place we stopped at, Kill Devil Hills Days Inn, had a smaller motel they run just up the way that we could have for 80$. Hmmm... more shopping around, but nothing was as good a deal. So, back to the hotel, booked, then dumped all out stuff in the motel room and headed to the Wright Brothers Memorial.

View from atop the Memorial hill:

Following wandering the hill, the giant monument, bronze sculpture of their take off and the museum, we headed -briefly- up Hwy 158 to a grocery store for food and beer. We decided we wanted more fish, and I was dying for some crab, so we got a couple fillets, a container of fresh lump crab meat, and some asparagus. We also decided to play it safe and get a few staples for the road: lil container of peanut butter (we had tortillas from the first night, still), oreos (we needed them!), and dried apple rings.

After having a beer at the room, we headed to the beach (with a couple more) and splashed around for an hour or so. Ethan, it should be said, mentioned his concern of sharks and riptides at least 2 dozen times. Needless to say, neither a shark nor a riptide got either of us.

Back to the room for a nice shower, nice beer and lovely dinner - made on the *porch* on the propane camp cooking kit.

In looking back upon the day, the opportunity to actually do some true sigh seeing (not to mention actually have something interesting to actually see... ummm, the Memorial. Not the monster truck. Heh) was pretty great, but the absolute best part of the day was ending it in the ocean. I always liked swimming in the ocean. But, to do so after biking as far as we did... wow.

So ends Day 2, August 16, 2009
51 miles (41 to destination, 10 roaming the area)
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3170910

Day 1: Brooklyn NY to Chesapeake VA to Bell's Island NC

2009-09-07T17:10:00.007-04:00

Saturday, Aug 15, 2009

2am: Up and at 'em!

We had packed everything up and prepared ourselves to just throw everything into the car and go as quickly as possible so we could get on the road.
The list:
- (2) Surly Long Haul Trucker bikes
- (2) front bags (for power bars, sunblock, cameras, iphones, etc)
- (4) Ortlieb Panniers (2 orange for Ethan, 2 yellow for myself) containing clothes, swim suits and flip flops
- (2) sleeping bags
- (2) air mattresses
- (1) Marmot tent
- (1) first air kit
- (1) MSR cooking set & mini propane tank
- (2) Kryptonite cables & locks
- (2) helmets
- (2) cycling shoes

...and two people ready to go.

3am: On the road
FB Update: "and we're off!!! 3am... Yawn"
Anyso, we set out before light, with a quick stop at a Brooklyn gas station/Dunkin Donuts for some coffee and extremely stale donuts. (Note to self: 3am is not a good time for fresh donuts.)

Ethan drove, I entertained. We passed thru Manhattan to go thru the Holland Tunnel, tho E first intended to go thru Staten Island. We should gone thru SI... the Port Authority's been working late night/early morning weekends. Great.
We only got thrown off by about 15 minutes, but we left a lil earlier than we actually thought (we intended for a 4am leave). We jumped onto the NJ Turnpike, and took it all the way to I-95 South, then down to Chesapeake.

FB Update: "We're in Delaware! (5:08am)"

FB Update: "half way thru at 7:36am. MD is boring."

FB Update: "coulda gone into Dixieland or Bonnie's Box... But noooo, instead it's the old aluminum siding ugly BP Ocean Way for us!" (8:57am)

The Chesapeake "Bridge" is something crazy. You cross a bridge, then go into a tunnel, then come back out onto another bright, then back into a tunnel, then finally back onto a bridge that brought us intil Chesapeake VA around 11am.

After a quick stop at a bike shop for my front bag (the original one I ordered never made it to me... thanks ebikeshop... jerks), and a run to the post office to mail our clothes for the wedding and our second half of our vacation in Emerald Isle, we zipped over to drop off the car JUST in time. The Hertz employee was amazed to see how much stuff we pulled out of the (not-so) midsize sedan.
We put our bikes back together again, organized and loaded up everything onto the bikes, then had a quick sammich and change.

Bike & gear weight:
Ethan - approx. 70 lb.
Allison - approx. 50 lb.

1:30pm: On the road, again...
...but this time, by bicycles.

Side note: Throughout the trek, we averaged our "real" breaks (getting off the bike, heh) every hour and/or ten miles. Other than stopping for breakfast and lunch, most stops were 5-15 minutes long.

FB Update: "Loaded up and ready to haul on down to stop 1: Bell Island NC" (1:32pm)

We had about 35 miles to do on this first day, and nearly all of it was on what we would eventually despise:
Hwy 168
This was a hell-on-earth 5-lane road with a shoulder averaging 1.5 feet in width. The automobiles didn't care to slow down at all on the 55 mph, and about 50% of them didn't even bother moving over a lil to be on the safe side.

FB Update: North Carolina! We made it!!! (3:39pm)

We made it into NC (which was actually nearly dead-on at the halfway mark) around our ETA. About 18 miles done, 18 miles to go... ok, well, maybe add a few.

After stopping in NC, we stopped off at the Visitor's Center. There, we learned what to be looking out for to get to the Bell's Island Campgrounds. Unfortunately, we didn't think to ask what kind of stores were in the area, and we didn't bother grabbing anything then and there since we still had 18-ish miles to go.
About an hour and a half later, we made it to the turn off to get to the campgrounds. Yay! We'd finally be getting off of 168 for a while!!! Nope... we stopped off at a thrift store that was at the turn off onto Bell's Island Road, and asked the self proclaimed handy man where we could find a grocery store or something.
Well, sad to say, there was nothing nearby. Fortunately, there was a "store" -he said- about a mile to a mile and a half up 168. So, back onto the highway for us... only, it was more like 3 miles... each way.
Now, mind you, 6 miles isn't that far when you're in a car. But, on a bike, especially after you've already done 30 miles, it is... and it's even more when it's out of your way and you still have another 5 miles to go to get to your destination.

Nonetheless, on we went and after worrying the last mile of if he was lying to us, if we'd ever see it and just being utterly miserable, there it was. Classic wooden redneck store (not redneck store where the city folk would pass thru and think "oh how charming, or find a souvenir), with two old dogs hanging out in your way.

At this point, everything sounded good to eat, and we were looking to be creative... but, we were limited. A six-pack of Miller Lite was a must. Flour tortillas, a can of refried beans, Rotel tomatoes and box of frozen corn... we get dinner!

Back onto the bikes and on to our first campsite. I was utterly exhausted, we were both cranky and hungry, and Ethan had his second wind. Off he went, leaving me to trudge on my own thru marsh land that seemed never ending.

We made it to the Bell's Island Campgrounds (252) 232-2590 ~ 769 Bells Island Rd
~ Currituck, NC 27929) a lil less than an hour before sunset. Tho the owner of the property had passed by us on the road to it, and talked with Ethan, we got there and he wasn't around at all. Some lady was wandering down a lil gravel road of the grounds with an empty wine glass, and immediately approached us. She gave us the breakdown of what's where, and told us it was pretty much open choice for us wherever we wanted to set up camp.

We found a lovely, dry spot right on the sound's waterfront off to the side from the rest of the grounds.

After a beer and a toast to completing Day 1, Ethan set up the tent and I started on dinner. Oh dear... ummm... yeah, that frozen corn we got... I think it's kinda old... and frost bitten. Sigh. I tried to use some of it, tho, which I shouldn't have. Just cuz it all didn't look all that bad, it was pretty nasty. Edible... but really chewy and... just not a good addition.
After camp was set up and we ate what we could (we worked around the corn bits as best we could, heh), we waded into the water and wandered the waterfront of the campgrounds. We didn't do any swimming, and Ethan was a bit turned off by the water because there was all this crazy long grass floating in it and rolling up onto the lil beach.

By dark, we were done for the day. We showered (separately!) in near darkness in an outdoor cinder block shower with a lil frog hanging out with us. For me, he was in a crack between the shower wall and the building wall. The only reason I knew he was there at all was because he scared the bajeebus out of me when he started calling out to his friends. After I left, tho, he moved. Ethan first found him in the soap dip, but later he crawled up the wall and onto the shower head, looking down at Ethan while he did what he had to do.

So ended Day 1.
41.5 miles
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3169039

Looking back on OBX

2009-08-29T17:45:00.001-04:00

OBX_trek
Originally uploaded by vaduzuvunt

It has been a week since I've been home from our trip to the OBX. I finally have the time to sit and recap, in more detail, the trek we made from Brooklyn, NY, to Chesapeake, VA, and thru the Outer Banks of NC.
So, how to break it down. Well, I guess by day, the way I attempted (tho poorly) to do while on the trip.

The break down goes like this:

Day 1:
- Saturday, August 15: Drive from Brooklyn to Chesapeake, VA
- Saturday, August 15: Chesapeake, VA to Bell Island, NC
Day 2:
- Sunday, August 16: Bell Island, to Kitty Hawk/Kill Devil Hills, NC
Day 3:
- Monday, August 17: Kill Devil Hills to Buxton on Cape Hatteras, NC
Day 4:
- Tuesday, August 18: Buxton to Ocracoke, NC
Day 5:
- Wednesday, August 19: Ocracoke to Inner Banks of Cedar Island to Otway, NC
Day 6, Final Day:
- Thursday, August 20: Otway to Emerald Isle, NC

Days 7 thru 9:
- Friday, August 21 thru Sunday, Agust 23: Wedding fun, relaxation and home again

So, here I go... trying to remember everything I did, experienced, loved, hated and photographed.

Day 5:

2009-08-21T08:33:00.001-04:00

This afternoon SUCKED! The monrning was wonderful, but I woulda given up the wonderful morning swim in the ocean to balance out.
We woke to the sunrise, packed up, then decided we would have a swim n catch the 10:30am ferry from Ocracoke to Cedar Island. Shouldn'ta.
Ocracoke is beautiful, and definitely a place I want to go back to (off the bike). The ferry was also nice and relaxing. Two hours of a/c (a first on this trek).
But... When we got off, it pretty much was full on headwinds of about 15 mph the entire time. On top of that, we were passing thru a salt marsh wildlife refuge for 90% of the time with very short (2 miles?) opportunities of shade thru lil towns that had no where to stop. We travelled about 20 miles before we could have a proper rest in Davis.
We've finally made camp in a lil waterside campground (where we can't swim) in Otway.
I am done.
But not.
Tomorrow is the last leg of our trek (I refuse to say 'journey'), with only 34 miles and two big bridges til we land in Emerald Isle. Waiting for us is a wonderful bed in a wonderful beach house by the ocean, with a/c and a kitchen and a nice shower.

Words cannot describe how much I am looking forward to this, and how decadent it will be.

I have loved nearly the entire trip, and can say it's been the best vacation ever. But I am looking forward to the next aspect of it... in Emerald Isle.

I will be updating, in more detail, each day if the trek. There's been so much that I've experienced.

Day 3

2009-08-17T21:21:00.001-04:00

We biked over 60 miles today from Kill Devil Hill to Butxon on Cape Hatteras. We lost signal for quite a while, but were surprised later to get it back.
The bridge over Oregon Inletwad terrifying, but midway thru it we saw porpoises swimming below.
We're camping just south of the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, and swam again jn the wonderful ocean next to a blocked area where a sea turtle had nested.
Now we're sitting under the stars listening to the frogs and watching shooting stars . So far we've seen 4.
It's been a wonderful day.
Tomorrow we're roaming the area, then crossing over to Ocracoke on the ferry n biking down to the end of that island n making camp one last time on the ocean before heading south into the inner banks area.

Day 1: Chesapeake to Bell Island

2009-08-15T19:18:00.001-04:00

Well... We made it thru the first leg of our trip. After waking from a 4 hour nap at 2am, we loaded up and headed out. Made it literally at the exact time we had to return the car.
We hit the road around 2pm. With a couple lil stops for this and that, we made it to BI n were set up by 6:30. I could have done without the 3 extra mile excursion to find food, but at least I get to eat (and have a beer!) tonight!

2009-08-14T16:29:00.002-04:00

Hittin' the road...

2009-08-14T16:21:00.003-04:00

Hello. I'm away right now. Off to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a 250-mile ride with E. We're all packed and ready to go. I'm a lil nervous, cuz this looks like a lot of stuff, and it weighs my bike down a good bit. But, I'm determined and excited, so I'm sure I'll make it.

I'm not really sure how much I'll be able to actually blog on this about, but I have a BlogWriter Lite app on my iPhone, as well as something to Twitter (tho I'm proud to admit I'm not a Tweeter... Twitterer? Ummm... Tweetin' kinda person), but hopefully some updating for the friends and family.

Alrighty then... onward and upward!!!

Farewell to Bob Guskind

2009-04-06T22:10:00.004-04:00

Saturday was the memorial for my friend and associate, Bob Guskind. I was dreading the whole thing, because... well, no one wants to go to the final memorial of the life of someone they cared about. But, went I did and must say it was the most wonderful send of (for lack of a better term) one could have.
Bob introduced me to many people whom I finally got to meet. I wish it were under different circumstances, but nonetheless it was good. I learned more of a new friend whom I lost. We all share a bit of the Bob we each knew, making him more of who he was that we each had yet to learn for ourselves.
If Bob never knew exactly how appreciated by and how important he was to so many, we all know... and I hope somehow he was there to see for himself.

Bob Guskind, My Friend

2009-03-06T09:00:00.004-05:00

It's all over the NY blogs, but despite, here it is on my own. I have a personal reason for mentioning the news I heard of my freind Bob Guskind death.

I was a big fan of gowanulounge dot com, which has since been taken down. I was constantly sending my images to the site's photo pool. But then, early fall of 2008, he made his apologies but said he was shutting the site down. It seemed as if all of Brooklyn was upset by this, because he had hundreds of comments wishing him well and hoping he returns soon. Finally, he came back. I emailed him, asking if he needed help with posts.

At the time, it was just days before I was to have knee surgery for an ACL replacement and meniscus repair, so I knew I would be home and with plenty of time on my hands. Within hours he responded with thanks and a post for me to do. That was that... we jumped right into it, and I worked with him nearly every day since.

Through the months of working together, we became friends. We talked about GL, Brooklyn, his life, my life... we confided in each other. He was constantly thanking me and talking about dinner and drinks and talks and... "one day, when we're not so busy."

My boyfriend told me of the news in the middle of the work day on Thursday (3/5). Since then, all I can do is repeat "Bob Guskind" over and over in my head. My mind rereads the conversations we had, the things I learned of him and know of him, the laughs, the woes, the annoyances.

I did not know Bob well, hell I never even had that chance to meet and hang out with him face-to-face. But, I consider him a friend and cannot get this out of my head. He is more than just Gowanus Lounge. He is a voice of Brooklyn, that should be respected.

The Brooklyn Paper's original announcement of his passing (even the "edited" version) is the lowest of the low, the most outrageous example of disrespectful journalism for sensational purposes. Assumptions of his death and exposures of his personal life were published for all the world to read and start the whispering over. Bob did many posts in reference to this site, and this is what they do to repay him. (Of course, now they are posting a new article that shares their respect.)

Whatever the reason (of which it is none of mine to know or say if I do know) the fact of the matter is a lot of people -and entire community- lost a very wonderful, kind person. I don't know why exactly this hits me as hard as it does... but, I miss Bob.

I carry my camera with me every where I go. And nearly every time I shoot something in Brooklyn, I have him and GL in mind. Yesterday, when I was riding home, I didn't even bother pulling my camera out to see what I could get. This fucking sucks.

***Ooops: I mistakenly said it was the Brooklyn Eagle, but in fact it was the Brooklyn Paper. Thanks for pointing it out to me to Xris from the Flatbush Gardener.

Get Ready

2008-12-30T09:51:00.003-05:00

As we come to the end of another year, I wish to note that I continued into it with the *woo hoo* endless-drunken maritime social life from the year before, moved into an *ohhh boy* of too-good-to-be-trueness of love, and now prepare for a new year of *hmmm* to what will happen with the pending changes.

Better be good, that's all I know.

Washed

2008-12-10T15:28:00.004-05:00

Scrubbed so hard up was dark, down was light. It can be understood how it is seen as such, but can't be understood why it's ignored. Given the chance, the tide would flip and it would be done. No chance. Not here. You say tunnel. I say simplistic. Manicheanly speaking.

Ahem

2008-12-05T13:12:00.000-05:00

You suck. Stupid piece of shit.

Open Day at the Hate Fest

2008-12-02T15:24:00.002-05:00

Questionable reprobates with the audacity to assume, demand, take and disregard. Dip you in cement and toss you over into the mirk.

Gram

2008-11-30T19:35:00.010-05:00

Gram Parsons' grave, Garden of Memories, Metairie, LA

Originally uploaded by vaduzuvunt

On a recent trip home, the ole man and I went out of our way up Airline Highway to find the burial place of Gram Parsons.

In researching how to find it, I came across the Gram Parsons Project. In actually going out to find the spot, I found that, not only was the site very old and in desperate need of updating (the place marker at the time the website was last updated was merely a bronze vase holder), but also that the only real information that was helpful was 1. that Gram is buried in the Garden of Memories in Metairie, Louisiana, and B. that his burial marker is R-12 11-3. (No offense to the owner of the site.)

In following the directions from the site, which will now be redacted from conversation, we spent about 45 minutes wandering around the wrong area. So, I'm taking it upon myself to help any Gram fans out so they don't have to:

When you head into the cemetery, take your first right. The road's gunna fork, at which time you head to the right. After doing so, the road will make a nice sharp left. I'd say about 75 feet after the curve, stop.

To your left, in the distance, you'll see a big white bas-relief of the Last Supper - start walking towards that. About halfway up the hill, past the 9th line of grave markers, you'll see a white bench. Just past, and between the tree to your right and that bench, is Gram.

He has the largest grave marker (as you see above) in the area.

In my oh so wonderful OCDness, I took the liberty to also create the exact location (or within 5 feet of it) on google maps. Happy hunting, if ever you go out looking for Mr. Parsons.

rar

2008-11-18T14:07:00.002-05:00

I was given the opportunity to present myself in an orderly, respectable fashion... but at the last minute decided against it, grew fangs and claws and ripped it to shreads. Once done, I shook it off and waited for the dust to settle, the realized I have one hell of an imagination.

Now, if only I could grow a set of balls and actually do what I want so badly to do.

glug

2008-11-12T14:57:00.003-05:00

It's amazing how many rich assholes there are in the world who would rather pack their stuff up and store it, never to touch again, than give it all to charity. Yeah, they're entitled to keep what's theirs... but boy, do people fucking suck.

To avoid repeat

2008-11-07T19:07:00.000-05:00

I recently had surgery on my left knee. It sucked. I've told this story a few time, the majority with my boyfriend having to hear it again. It's a pitiful, but funny (I think), story that I just haev to put out there.

For anyone who ever has Meniscus repair and ACL replacement surgery - I'm sorry!

My story isn't about how it happened. I was stupid, that's how it happened. No, this story is what happened the day of the surgery. Yeah, I want to document my horror story and share it with all the world.

I was quite stressed the week before my surgery was to take place. Hell, I had been stressedduring the entire month between the accident and the surgery. But, with the surgery fast approaching, my body was making sure it reflected the stress I had inside. Its final bout of reflection - laryingitus. Two days before my surgery, my voice totally gave out on me. Swell. Ok, fine.

The day of my surgery, I had gotten my voice back, but my throat still had a Froggy scratch to it. I wasn't coughing, and didn't have a cold. I just sounded like the Lil Rascal. I had to go to [redacted] hospital for 6.30am to be prepped and documented for my 8.30am surgery. I did everything they told me to, answered all the questions, had a living will signed and witnessed (just in case) and was ready to go. It seemed like everything was flowing nicely.

They tossed me on the gurny and brought me to outside my o.r. door. I don't know about anyone else's opinion on this matter, but there's something very uncomfortable about laying there with only a dressing gown still untied in the back with a baby blue and a sterile cap on my head, while nurses and doctors and people in blue outfits walk up and down the corridor, giving *huh wonder what she's in for?* glances.

Finally, my anesthesiologistssss came up. One was this very sweet girl with a bright neon colored flowers skull cap on. She introduced herself and the other guy, and then proceeded to get me set up for my IV. He walked off. She proceeded to find a vein in my right hand, but said they were all too small. She tried one, but right when she was starting to move the needle in, it rolled. This left a nice big bruise on my hand.

And wouldn't you know it, right at that exact moment the other anesthesioloist showed up. He was this giant stoiac Polish guy, who I honestly cannot say if he liked what he did. Maybe in some sadistic way, but he definitely wasn't there to better anyone. He grabs my arm like he would probably grab any woman's arm, and started looking around at my hand. In a heavy Polish accent he say *Yor veins in hand too smoll, must do IV in inner elbow,* and started slapping me there to draw out a vein. Not patting... slapping. Leaving a pattern of red welts. Nice.

During his bedside beating, he was asking me questions about what kind of anesthesia I wanted - general (tube down the throat) or regional (epidural in the spine). I mentioned that I've had spinal taps before, so the epidural is out. I also mentioned that I don't want this regional idea of theirs, since they were leading me to believe I'll only be *mostly asleep.*
No way *mostly asleep.* You're knocking my ass out!
Well, in voicing my opinion (which was not quite as blunt as the above) I had a little tickle to the already scratchy throat that caused a coughing fit. This did not stop the guy from still doing his poking business in my arm, but it did start his brash rudeness. Finally, he finished the poking, stood up, threw his hands up in the air like I'm some big inconvenience for his day (I'm the one having the frigging surgery!) and said he can't work with me and walked off scoffing at me under his breath.
After my coughing subsided, I asked for my doctor and told him and the others around me that there is no way in hell I was letting that man be in charge of any drugs going into my system. He comes walking up, to continue with moving me into the o.r. and getting me set up. I took one look at him and told him I don't want him anywhere near me and he can just leave.
The doctor went and talked to him, then brought me a new, NICE anesthesiologist who talked me down and convinced me to go with the regional. Twasn't hard... she was just nice and calm. The doc apologized for that piece of shit's behavior and tried to excuse it as some sort of cultural difference, to which I replied *he's in America now... adapt to other ways.*

Into the room... epidural... out.

Three hours later, I woke in recovery and immediately felt the pain comparative to a vice crushing my knee from the sides and from the top. I didn't even have a chance to be *where am I?* It all started with the pain. I didn't care where I was, I just wanted to know why I was hurting that bad and what they were gunna do to change that.
My doc comes around with two new male anesthesiologists and tell them to do a femoral block on me. A what? Basically anesthesia in a nerve at the top of the leg that runs all the way down and will kill any pain, any feeling in the leg for up to 10 hours. Hell yeah, hook me up!
So, these dinkuses set up a sonogram monitor, start looking around on my leg and find the nerve. One guy's holding the sonogram wand, while the other stabs me in the thigh...about 2 inches away from the frigging nerve. Argument ensues between these two dips over being too far, so he removes the needle and stabs me again... this time 1 inch away from the nerve. More arguing ensures. *Ummm, pardon me but are you a student or something.* He's not... no, he's a professional who's been doing this shit for a while. Yeah, good job man. Well, instead of removing and stabbing again, he starts wiggling the needle around, trying to get it deeper and closer to the nerve. WIGGLING NEEDLES ARE NOT FUN. Finally he gets the nerve, injects the meds, and they walk off grunting about my question and his incompetency.

Finally, about 30 minutes later, the pain's subsided and I actually feel okay. The nurse waits another 30 minutes before sending me to the next wing, where I can see my boyfriend, eat a little something and eventually be released.
When I get out there, something's starting to feel wrong. Ethan walks into my lil curtained area, says hi, and all of a sudden that same vice crushing pain is coming back... fast. We're talking with every heart beat the pain grows. I'm crying, Ethan's probably freaking out, and we can't find the nurse who's suppose to be assigned to me. Great. Finally, we find her, he explains I'm dying, she gets some help and sends me back into the recovery room.

Back in the room and with a new nurse. 10 hours! Ten hours! They said it would last ten hours! What the hell is wrong??? She calls my doc, who is in his next surgery, but gets permission to give me some crazy ass drug that makes one nauseous and sweat like a beast. *How bad is the pain?* 10! Ten minutes later *how bad is the pain now?* 10! Twenty minutes later... 10! An hour later... ok, 8.......
I was in the recovery room for at least two hours trying to get the pain to subside. During this time, I asked the anesthesiologist who was managing the sonogram thingie why it didn't last like he said it would... but he didn't have an answer for me. He did say that it's kind of good that it didn't last, because chances are ten hours from then I would be home and that pain would be just the same and I wouldn't have the drugs to bring the pain down as they do in the hospital. Oh well thanks, that's very reassuring.
I asked for my doctor. Still in surgery. (They weren't even intending to ask him to come to me when he was done.) I asked for my boyfriend. He's not allowed back there. I asked what my options were. I could stay over night. I want to consult with my boyfriend and doctor.

For the next hour, I had to continue to ask to see both of them, only to deaf ears of my nurse. I will be a lot less difficult if you would just please let me speak to them. Nothing. I will only become more difficult if you don't. Boyfriend is called.
Ethan comes back and we discuss. I explain to him that they aren't answering any of my questions, they're not telling my doctor that I want to see him when he's out of surgery and tell him what happened to me with the drug wearing off, the whole experience. He goes and speaks to the nurse, explaining that I'm scared and confused and in a lot of pain and would feel a lot better and be able to handle all of this if she would just have my doctor come to me when he's done. (Now mind you, other than crying over the unbearable pain, I was trying to not be difficult or annoying or ugly or mean. But with every idiotic comment that they made to my questions, which weren't even just sad answers to them but more like excuses or blow offs, yes - I was getting more impatient. *I don't know, but will try and find out* would have sufficed!) The nurse listened to him and sent word for the doc to come see me when he came back to recovery with his recent patient. Then she made my boyfriend leave again.
About an hour later, my doctor returns and answers all of my questions without batting an eye. By then the drugs they had been giving me thru the IV were lessening the pain to about a 4, which to my was tolerable. We discussed my options, and I decided I just wanted to be home. Even if they gave me a self inducing morphine, I really didn't want to be in the hands of these kind of people.
So, back out to the release section. Ethan came, as did crackers and apple juice... and this little 4'5" Philippine woman who had the energy of a hummingbird. She spoke fast, moved fast, acted fast, and was ready to get me up and moving and out. Now, remember, I just got pumped full of some drug that made me hot and sick feeling. I need calm. I need to feel relaxed. I need to pace myself.
Buzz buzz buzz, let's get you up. Buzz buzz buzz, let's make you walk. Buzz buzz buzz let's go to the restroom. Buzz buzz buzz, are you feeling nauseous? Yeah, that drug does that to people. Just don't throw up on me. Buzz buzz buzz, come on, walk to the restroom. Buzz buzz buzz, I'll come in with you and help you.
The restroom was maybe 4 x 5 feet, with a toilet and sink jutting out into the majority of it, and a giant waste basket that was about at my hip. I was trapped in this cell with this hummingbird woman. And she wouldn't shut up.
Buzz buzz buzz, I got you. Buzz buzz buzz, don't worry. Buzz buzz buzz, oh, you don't feel good? Well if you need to throw up, don't throw up on me. Buzz buzz buzz, here's the waste basket.
And, with all that energy, I was sooo nervous and antsy and sickened that... I threw up.
She wouldn't stop. What's more, because she was holding me and not giving me any leeway to position myself properly, I didn't have the best position or aim to lean into the waste basket. So, a little itty bitty drop of anesthesia (the only thing in my stomach at that point) hit her nurse green pants.
Buzz buzz buzz, ohhhhh see, I told you not to throw up on me, but you did anyway. Buzz buzz buzz, I knew this would happen. Buzz buzz buzz, ohhhh your boyfriend going to hear about this one. Ha ha ha! Buzz buzz buzz, it's ok, throw up all you want, just not on me anymore! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Please just get me out of here!!! I demanded myself to not be sick anymore, and begged for her to move so she could open the door, I could get out of there and away from her energy. Of course, once she opened the door, Ethan was there waiting for us, and she announced to the whole room Buzz buzz buzz, she puked on me! I told you see would! I didn't want her to and told her not to, but she did! Ha ha ha ha ha!
I looked at her and said *You made me sick.* She just laughed and kept buzzing about something while she closed my section's curtain so I could get dressed. I sat down in the lil lazyboy on rollers and just started crying. She had me so tensed up that I didn't even care about the pain my knee had... I just wanted to get away from her and that high energy and go home.

So there... my knee surgery. Sucked. My doctor and Ethan were the only two people there I could deal with and trusted. Everyone else... it was like they were just playing everything by ear and just doing by what the books told them, not by experience of dealing directly with people in a vulnerable position who are expecting you to watch out for them and make sure they are as comfortable as possible in a situation they really would prefer to not be in.

So... for your livelihood - never ever ever have to get ACL replacement surgery. It sucks.

Buzz buzz buzz, ar

Rules of Walking II: You v. The Cyclist

2008-10-28T13:17:00.002-04:00

Picture_Oct08 210
Originally uploaded by Ignatzybanjo

Rules of Walking II: You v. The Cyclist

Cars cars cars!
People people people!
Don't forget...
Bikes bikes bikes!

As your fair city is ever growing, our culture turning to better their own Carbon Footprint (or, at least, everyone should be!) and the price of gas pushing us to find more economical ways of getting around, we are seeing a growing number of bicyclists on the road.
Now, come on people - they have to look out for potholes, cars, doors, and a whole slew of you's... so why not help them out and look out for them as well?

Pedestrian v. Bicyclists

Big argument: Who's the bigger dick? (Is, not has.)

Though they do have less enforcement of the laws of the road than cars do, and some/many tend to break all the laws (although it should be said that even many cars tend to break ‘em as well, particularly NYC drivers), they're still obligated to stop when necessarily, pay attention to their actions and surroundings, and get to their destinations unscathed. Because of their close proximity with moving automobiles, they're already ahead in the attention factors of paying such mind. Pedestrians... not so much.

Now, I'm a walker and a biker. I live both worlds, so I can vouch for the annoyances both sides deal with. I've been the stupid pedestrian getting in the way, and I've been the bitch on the bike telling someone when they're being a stupid pedestrian getting in the way. I've even been the stupid pedestrian getting mad at the cyclist, and being the cyclist coming close to an accident.
So, yeah... I can stone myself if I want.

I don't care what you're doing or who you are - everyone should be paying attention to everything around them and everything they do at all times. But, seeing as pedestrians are not obligated by any law on how to do what they do, I'll take it upon myself to lay down some ground rules.

So, with that, I bring you the second installment of Rules of Walking:

Rules of Walking II: You v. The Cyclist

1. LOOK!
It's as simple as that. Motorcycles aren't noticed by cars, and bicyclists aren't noticed by pedestrians. This is Rule #1 and really should be the only rule needed to be stated.

But, since so many people need a bit more explanation and guidance, and since leaving it at that would make this commentary short and kinda dull, I'll give you a few more specific situations that you may wanna keep in mind the next time you're out and about:

2. CROSSWALK CREEPERS
There you are. At the crosswalk. Couple other people there to. Or not. All you know is you wanna get across that road as soon as you can, so you can keep on keepin' on. So, what do you do? You creep out further and further into the street, just waiting for that lil red hand to turn into the lil white guy.
Whoa... look out! That car got pretty damn close, huh?
*Brrring brrring, Move!*
What's his problem?
You! Don't stand out in the crosswalks waiting for your chance to go. Make room for the cars AND the bikes. Whether there’s a bike path or not, bicyclists are sharing the road with the cars, but they’re trying to stay to the side so cars can pass them. If you’re jutting out, they have to get around you and still stay out of the cars’ way.

3. BICYCLE LANE LOLLYGAGGERS
Hanging outside your car waiting for someone, talking on your phone, or maybe just walking up the bike lane cuz the sidewalk's crowded. Listen, they're not there to give you a lil extra standing room or walking space. It's for Bikes. There are far more pedestrians that doddle in the bike lanes than you see bikes riding on the sidewalk. But, if I got every bicyclist to promise not to ride their bikes on your sidewalk, will you promise to not walk in the bike path?

4. DOOR PRIZE!
So, technically you may not necessarily be a pedestrian when it happens, but you're intentions are to move into or out of the act of pedestrianing. Whether you're a driver, a passenger, or hailing, getting in or out of a cab - doesn't make a bit of difference. You’d look out for oncoming cars… why not oncoming bikes too?

If you don't take the time to make sure all areas are clear (including down the block) before opening the door, you're liable to get hurt just as you're liable to hurt a passing cyclist... not to mention wreck the door of an automobile, miss your yoga class or clubbing night cuz you have to deal with a police report and/or ambulance.

5. YAPPERS
Pat your head and rub your belly. Faster. Faster! Now do that while stating the Pledge of Allegiance and jumping up and down on one leg.
Not so easy, now, is it?
Be it by text, cell or with whom you are walking with - if you're yapping away, two to one you ain't paying half the attention you should to what you’re doing, and you can't keep it all straight to avoid a bad situation. Make your movement down the block your #1 priority and all else secondary.

6. DIDN'T YOUR MA TELL YOU TO ALWAYS LOOK BOTH WAYS?
Yeah, they're not suppose to be biking the wrong way up the road, but you aren't suppose to be crossing against the signal or in the middle of the street. So, you're both wrong. But, for the mere fact that you just never know - concern yourself with both directions, even on one way streets. Cars go in reverse... wouldn't wanna step out in front of them because you didn't listen to your Mama.

7. JAY WALKING ACTUALLY IS ILLEGAL, PEOPLE
Hell yeah, I do it. But, I ain't telling anyone to do as I say, not as I do. Wait.. actually, I am. But, I should also follow this rule. And I actually try to. The difference between me and others... I actually and making the effort to pay attention to all the rules I've given you thus far! Look... just make sure you're safe and sound before stepping out in the middle of the street – at a cross walk against a Don’t Walk sign or in the middle of the street. Just cuz there are no cars coming, doesn't mean you're in the clear.

8. STROLLER AGGRESSION
I don't know who's worse, Mamas, Daddys or Nannies. God forbid it's the nanny. I suspect it would probably be the Mama. But, whatever. The point is - would you put your baby between you and an oncoming vehicle? Would you jut your stroller out far enough so it could get smacked by a car? Hell - when in the position of posing a threat to a passing cyclist and your baby, you're on a corner most of the time, anyway! Cars could easily take a tight turn and SMACK! Ooops. Stay all the way up on the sidewalk with your strollers, people. At least for the sake of your baby, if no one else.

9. Last but not least… LOOK!!!

Yes, it’s a repeat of the first rule, but I cannot stress it enough – LOOK OUT FOR EVERYTHING PEOPLE!!! You’re the danger, not the cyclists or the cars – YOU! Pay the fuck attention and avoid imposing on others because you’re too self-absorbed to know that there’s a big world around you and you’re lucky to be in it. If I had my way, I would be the police, judge, jury and executioner of anyone who breaks these rules. But… I’m not. So, all I can do is look, and stress to you that you should do the same.

Wanton

2008-10-27T13:24:00.005-04:00

There are these people I know... lots of them, actually... that I normally share one common bind - drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. As of late, however, I have not been so inclined, nor so physically able to do so in the joyous of ceremonies that we together normally subscribe, which is any old damn time and reason to do it. This makes me sad and feel dissected from the life I know so well. At the same time, however, at least I got rid of the belly that was slowly beering out in all directions. Not purdy.

So, what am I to do? Not a damn thing. For you see, with this unplanned lack of drunkenness, also comes an unplanned disinterest. I want to want to drink. I want to want to be around drunks. I want to want to go to the watering holes. I want to want to wake up hung over and wondering *oh dear christ... did I make a total ass out of myself last night?*

But I don't want. What I do want, other than the wants I want to want, is to have the option to do what I want, instead of what I am able to do, which isn't what I want to do.

Popless

2008-10-26T22:31:00.002-04:00

I have this absolutely horrible annoying lack of satisfaction that I simply cannot obtain. There's literally nothing I can physically do to change this. If I did... oh the pain it would bring in ever other regard.
To be a bit more specific, so that I can get a bit of sympathy from whoever bothers to read this, and for historical reference of my own life for myself -

Damn it I need to pop my left knee!!! I can feel the deep seeded need to do so, but my muscles are so tight, my knee is aching so much and, quite frankly, I don't have the guts to do it out of pure fear of what it will do to me.

So, I have to just leave it like this and hope it accidentally does it, itself, and it turns out to not be that bad on the rest of me.

Sigh... this sucks.

MBV Soon

2008-10-08T16:51:00.002-04:00

So lovely a show it was. So lovely a song it always is.

Fork

2008-10-08T16:27:00.002-04:00

Poke poke, tickle.
Would prefer a beer.
Trip and fall.
Damn it.
Pick back up.
Hobble around.
Laugh at myself.
And at you.
Fall apart.
Dose up.
Wonder where I am.
Give a go.
Quit fast.
Take a nap.
Want my bike.
And a cookie.
Maybe a cup of soup.
Close my eyes.
Hear a song.
Sing aloud.
Head rearing to commence.
I stop.
Home, to go.
Night, to fall.
Sleep, wake, sleep.
Wake for real.

Do it all over again.

Listless

2008-10-07T16:31:00.001-04:00

I made a list of all the things that I didn't want but have and hope to get rid of soon.

You were not on it.

.

Toby

2008-09-24T09:19:00.010-04:00

Tobias "Toby" Allen

So... I use to know this guy. We were roommates, briefly, down in New Orleans in this giant haunted (heh) house on St. Charles Ave. He was quite the odd fellow, with modest pride. Toby.
I met him on the front porch of a mutual friend over on Constantinople St. He was staying with the chick, who's name I now forget, but not Toby. If I recall correctly, he had just moved back to New Orleans from Seattle. (He liked to go back and forth between the two cities.)
He looked like a filthy surfer dude from California (Northern, not Southern) - chin length stringy beach blonde hair, blue eyes, perpetual tan. He had a wicked smile, but with no actual evil intent. He wouldn't even kill a roach. He did, however, have a passion for the evil. Mainly - serial killers. He collected their art. Wrote about them. Befriended them. He even created a board game - Let's Play - http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/visualart/348657_deadlygame25.html !!!

He and I clicked over the common focus we shared on the West Memphis Three (WM3.org). He was "friends" (prison type pen pals), with Damien Echols. Eventually, he would make introductions between Damien and myself, which was much appreciated and correspondence between us, for a time, commenced.
I always had the morbid interest in serial killers... Toby was just someone who took it many more steps further than I. He collected their art. He corresponded with them. He took calls from them, visited them, pursued them. His top three conquests - Charles Manson, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer. He was planning to go up to try and see if he could get a visit with Dahmer, but... well, we all know how that story ended soon after his incarceration.
Anyso, he and I took refuge in this old house on St Charles Ave. It use to be a gentleman's quarters for traveling salesmen types to there were a few residents. Anne Rice made a big stink about us because apparently she grew up across the street from it, and it inspired her to write some stupid Memnoch vampire book, and she didn't want a bunch of neredowells inhabiting what she considered a sacred landmark.

Here's the house:

It wasn't this nice and polished up when we lived there. It was 1000$ a month for the whole thing. It was mainly kept within the same concept as it was first used, but chicks were living there as well. During the few months I lived there (yes, only a few - I couldn't handle that life style for very long), there was a new face almost every week that lived there.

John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) use to call him collect. I answered the phone a couple of times for each. Gacy always had this creepy way of bellowing out his name when the recorded prompted him *Inmate, state your name,* like it pissed him off that he had to do as told or something. Ramirez has a thing for Asian girls, and Toby took it upon himself to lead him to think I was Asian. I think that was even creeper.
Ramirez use to draw cartoon characters on his letters to Toby. Once he told me he would send me a drawing... I (fortunately?) never got it.

Anyso, to get to the point of this part of my tale, Toby had this painting that scared the bajebus out of me. He and I shared a bedroom (no... we were always Just Friends), and this face would stare at me as I slept - the background and the eyes glowing in the dark at me:

Elvis by John Wayne Gacy

I'm not 100% positive this is the exact painting... but I am 97.3% positive it is. I remember the background to be a more orangy color... but the computer image could play trick with my eyes or what have you.

Ok... so, I believe it was around summer of 1998 that Toby picked up and moved back West to Seattle. We lost touch, which isn't all that surprising. It's been 10 years.
However, when I was on my travels in 2000, I did hunt a bit for him... and have done so on and off (mostly off) over the years.

In 2000, a documentary came out called The Collectors came out about Toby and his friend/partner Rick Stanton (whom I believe I met once when he came down from Baton Rouge to hang out with Toby), and their art collecting and exhibition. (I've not been able to get my hands on this documentary, but would love to.)
This was the last I ever saw of anything pertaining to Toby.

Years passed... every once in a while, I would try and find him thru Myspace or google searches or whatnot. But, never could get anywhere. All I would come across was the Collectors sites.

This morning, for no real reason, I decided to do a google search for Tobias Allen. The third link read:

Should the Mariners Be Charged with Manslaughter? | Slog | The ...
Sep 12, 2007 ... According to the Seattle Times, police identified the body as Tobias Allen, whose death authorities will attribute to suicide. ...
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/09/should_the_mariners_be_charged_with_mans

In the above link was a link to the following page containing the following:

Last Days -

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 [2007] The week continues with an exceedingly well-documented Seattle suicide, first noted around 11:00 p.m. last night, when 911 dispatchers received a call about a body seen floating in Lake Washington. According to the Seattle Times, police identified the body as Tobias Allen, whose death authorities will attribute to suicide. According to his MySpace profile, Allen was a 39-year-old single Libra with a penchant for the Mariners, existential drama, and exclamation points. "Most days it feels/seems that most people are mindless fucking sheep," wrote Allen in his MySpace blog on June 15 [sic throughout]. "I'm talking about the people that actually waste presious oxygine talking about Paris Hell-ton. Who gives a fuck? Vapid little bitch... look, now I'm doing it! Thank the powers that be that the aurora bridge is only minutes away. I may need it soon!" By August 4, things were looking up: "Just when I was ready to give up on another summer.... my sweet sweet M's start kicking ass! I'm about to grin, or cry, or something. This has been one of THEE LAMEST summers of my life, to date. I was really going nuts. Then the mighty M's start kickin some ass! I guess, if they can do it, so can I! I have to see the end of the season! Maybe I will turn 40...." He didn't. RIP Tobias Allen, whom interested parties can see in the 2000 documentary Collectors, chronicling the nation's premier serial-killer enthusiasts. (In addition to Mariners and MySpace, Allen appreciated art made by serial killers. Go figure.)

So... wow. Dead. Gone.

I don't find it all that far fetched of Toby to commit suicide. I find it somewhat hard to believe that he would do it over a baseball team, tho. Not going to expound much on who he was, personally and privately. He was a wonderful person with a great heart. But... he, like many, had his own issues, that are not my business to tell others.
All I know is that it kinda sucks having this confirmation that he ain't around anymore. Though it wasn't a big mission, the fact that I've attempted to find him over the years, despite my failure every time, kept him going in my life, even if I hadn't seen him in a decade.
And, at least three times since his death, he was still alive as far as one person was concerned. Now that I found him (sort of), I could say *Ok, done.* But, it just leads me to wonder what kind of send off he was given by his friends.

Hmmm... maybe I should contact his old buddy Rick?

Anyso... there you go. Toby Allen. Sorry.

all none

2008-09-19T12:48:00.003-04:00

You scare me. I don't like you one bit. You do what you want, but leave nothing to show for it... and I have a bad memory, so that doesn't help me in fond ways.
So, what am I suppose to do? What option do you give me? None... that I know of. I just have to bide time, focus on need over want, do without, hope and wish, and wait and see.

The knee

2008-09-17T13:20:00.003-04:00

A brilliant evolutionary feat. We have the ability to do so may amazing things with these two lil knobs. Jump, skip, walk, run, moonwalk, dance, kick ass and dozens of sports that call for the side-to-side movement.
So, with all these abilities, we need to be protective and appreciative of these two lil guys.
So, word to the wise - when you're styling up on the a bar, then jumping up and over barstools with the intention to land properly on your two conversed feet, assuming everything else will fall into proper place with you... think again, and climb down properly and walk to your destination.
Otherwise, Mr. ACL and Mr. Meniscus won't be too happy with you, as is the case with yours truly, and you'll have to see Mr. Doctor about getting surgery on the ligament duo, as is again the case with yours truly come October 15.

Yay me. Thanks to all who have given your well wishes, booze, rides, laughs, fun pokings and just all around friendship and concern. Once I'm up and running (not bouncing, jumping or twisting, mind you), I shall make it up to all of you with a big pot of gumbo.

The worst about it

2008-09-11T12:29:00.001-04:00

The Silence
The Smell
The Missing Posters

Love love love

2008-09-11T10:59:00.002-04:00

Grinderman
Man in the Moon
from
Dig, Lazarus Dig!

Yeah ummm no

2008-09-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

Why is it the ones who's asses we Don't want to see are typically the ones we do see?

Fasion Week - Brooklyn Style
Originally uploaded by vaduzuvunt

Feh

2008-09-05T16:47:00.001-04:00

I feel very strongly against stupid people. They're stupid.

Oooo colors!!!

2008-09-01T21:50:00.002-04:00

It's pretty in this way, eh? It's actually kinda cool while it's happening... so long as it ain't as bad as, say, Katrina.

This is Gustav. He didn't hate on New Orleans. But, he was hating on Baton Rouge pretty mean like.

For those who asked, thanks - My family is a-okay.
Tain't got no electricity, but they're not flooded out, they're not hurt, they're not seriously damaged. Well... inside they're homes they're not. Won't know how the exterior of their houses or yards are until day light.

I hate being so far away when this shit is happening. I feel like I've broken some sort of pact or a dereliction of duty not being there en guard against hurricanes. But... that's the way it goes, I guess.

Anyso... yeah, thanks for the concern. It's much appreciated.

(In similar news - on our way home from Asheville, NC, this afternoon, we were passed by convoy after convoy of electricity cherry picker trucks heading South. We assume to Louisiana to aid. That was relieving to see. Didn't count, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were over 200 that passed us in a matter of 6 hours time. Yeah... somebody made a good call ahead of time. That's good.)

Give blood...

2008-08-28T14:17:00.004-04:00

...they're taking it anyway.

So... it's been quite a skeeter summer, deep in the heart (or bowels?) of Red Hook. Hell, all of Brooklyn, it seems. Why, we have all asked, are there so many frigging monsters pricking into any and every bit of exposed skin (and some creepin' up under some folks' clothes, wink wink nudge nudge)? Well... Some guy called Gersh found out:

Buzz off!
By Gersh Kuntzman
The Brooklyn Paper

People from Greenpoint to Bay Ridge have been complaining about “being eaten alive” by mosquitos this summer — but it’s not just the normal seasonal whining: the population of a particularly insidious blood-sucker has doubled this summer alone.

And that cute tyke below is one of the prime victims!

Sure, he’s my son, but he could be your son. In fact, he is your son. And daughter. And yourself.

After getting sporadic, unconfirmed and altogether unscientific reports that there has been a huge uptick in skeeters this summer, I called the Health Department to find out if my neighbors and I were just going mad or if we really become human blood banks.

Confirmed: We are insect food.

The Asian tiger mosquito — a species once entirely unknown to America — is showing up in record numbers in Health Department testing sites all over the borough.

And unlike normal, relatively slow and less aggressive breeds, this ornery beast is ruining barbecues, turning restaurant gardens into feedlots (for the bug, that is) and, yes, biting my son in so many places that he looks like a pincushion.

“It has been a good summer for mosquito [breeding], weather-wise,” said Dr. Edgar Butts, the Health Department’s assistant commissioner for vetinary and pest control.

“The bad news is that the Asian tiger mosquito has doubled in population. And this is a tenacious mosquito that will really go after you,” Butts said.

“The good news is that it’s not a good vector for West Nile Virus,” he added, putting in his department’s standard plea for people to report all standing water in the city’s ongoing effort to cut down on West Nile–carrying bugs.

I agree that disease-prevention is one good reason to call 311 whenever you see a water-filled tire. And of course, I’m concerned that my son’s only memories of his first summer on earth will be that of repetitive scratching and vague recollections of waking up screaming in pain.
Brooklyn Bridge Realty

But there’s yet another reason to bemoan the fertility of the Asian tiger mosquito: They’re even biting our beloved celebrities!

“They’re with us — especially in Brooklyn, where I live,” Park Slope resident and international screen siren Maggie Gyllenhaal told David Letterman last month, during a weird digression about mosquitos. “They’re insaaaane in Brooklyn.”

Yes, my friends, if you’ve been bitten by a mosquito this summer, you may have a blood link to Maggie Gyllenhaal.

But the “Dark Knight” star isn’t the only one who’s hearing a giant sucking sound coming from her leg.

“Everyone is complaining,” said Carlos Elias, the co-owner of the new restaurant Aji on Ninth Street in Park Slope. The restaurant is heavily dependent on its two outdoor seating areas (they’re lovely, by the way), which he says are not getting the kind of traffic they could be getting.

Posters on Park Slope Parents, the ubiquitous neighborhood Web site, have been trading secrets about which repellents work best (full disclosure: I have put so much DEET on my arms that I set off smoke detectors in neighboring houses) and whether the “mosquito season” will be over by September so a friend can go ahead and plan an outdoor birthday party.

Not sufficiently horrified? Well, let me tell you a few choice words about our “friend,” Aedes albopictus. Originally spotted in Texas in 1985, this pernicious little devil now has a range that spreads from Mexico to Greenpoint, though his main stomping grounds seem to be the Bible Belt (for now).

According to the Centers for Disease Control (and these people should know; they’re based in Atlanta!), the tiger mosquito is “an aggressive day-biter and is most active from 10 am to 3 pm.”

And their eggs “can survive very cold winters.”

Here’s hoping that we go into a mini–Ice Age this December. Otherwise, these mosquitos are coming back in full force next spring and carrying off my son as their love slave.
Gersh Kuntzman is the Editor of The Brooklyn Paper. E-mail Gersh at kuntzman@brooklynpaper.com

©2008 The Brooklyn Paper

I coulda done that

2008-08-17T11:11:00.007-04:00

OH wait... I did!

So... apparently some hoidy toid of the Times took it upon himself to declare the need for rules to walking.

David Rakoff's Walk This Way

Of course, ego steps up and makes me wanna declare *I said it first!* (MY Rules of Walking) and maybe even add *And I said it better!* Mind you, this guy did add the annoyance of dog leashes and texters... but other than that, he missed so much.

So, in declaration of my wonder and ego, and to even go so far as to update with more declarations on how to appropriately pass thru the world without the imposition of your existence on others, I give you:

THE Rules of Walking:

Ok... for years, I've endured the ignorance, but now I can't take no more! This city needs to set some ground rules, and they need to be posted on every subway train, platforms, and listed on those stupid TV monitors at the tops of the subway entrances. We're a city of 8 million, and then some, with all the tourist coming and going. Let's work together people!

It's not difficult people. We just have to THINK. Common sense! But, since some people are less equipped with such sense than others, I'll spell it out for you:

Walk in the City like you would drive anywhere in America!

1. WALK TO THE RIGHT.
You're in America!
There's no need for millions of people to constantly dance with others they clearly aren't interested in dancing with. And, being a girl who can't dance, and seeing as Murphy's Law always gives me some dipshit to dance with - I think this is one rule that should definitely be enforced. I won't inflict my moves on anyone if everyone just walks to the right!

2. YIELD.
When coming out of a store, don't just walk right out into the side walk where there's already people moving to and fro. Come on! You wouldn't just drive out in the middle of an intersection or merge onto the interstate without looking and yielding.
Also, when exiting stores... What causes a person to walk out onto the sidewalk and just stop? Does the brightness of the sun or the falling of the rain or the moon in the sky surprise you and cause you to be like a deer in headlights? Don't do that. There's a whole building right behind you. If you want to step out of the store and stop, step out and to the right or left and stop next to the building. You wouldn't just drive out in the middle of an intersection and decide there which way you want to go.

3. NO SUDDEN STOPS.
The only time there can really be a valid excuse is if a person drops something. If you suddenly realize you're going the wrong way, a friend of yours tells you something shocking, something or someone catches your attention, you forget something and need to turn around - don't just stop right there!

4. LOOK BEHIND YOU BEFORE TURNING OR STOPPING.
For all of the above actions, particularly in number 3 - the least you can do is look behind you and see if your impending actions will disrupt the motion of another. Simple as that!

5. WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE.
I ain't cop, but if I was and I saw some jerk swerving and veering, I'd pull him over and see if he'd been drinking. (Actually, I wouldn't cuz I just don't care enough. But the point is...) When walking, try and make it a straight line. Stay on your path, and out of others'!

6. DON'T STOP AT THE TOP OF THE SUBWAY STAIRS.
I always end up finding myself walking up the stairs behind one of these people. You get to the top and just stop and stand there. Yeah, sure you may be trying to get your bearings - but you can do that if you just step to the side (again, next to a building is a great spot!), and figure what you wanna do then.

7. IT'S CALLED A SIDEWALK FOR A REASON.
Move move move!!! Don't just stand there talking with people, figuring out where you want to go or where you are, or just look up gazing at the buildings. Do all that out of the way of the walk way.

8. SLOWER PACERS, WALK TO RIGHT.
On the interstate, the rule is - if you're going to drive slower, stay in the right lane so others can pass you on the left. This can apply with walking. The busier people can move around you, and you're less likely to have a collision with a stopped person standing to the side. (Like a stalled car on the side of the road.)

9. RALLIES DON'T TAKE UP THE WHOLE ROAD.
Nearly everyone has experienced a motorcycle rally. It can be a little thrill to see them cruise by, when you're just wandering about. But if you're stuck in your car waiting for the police escort to allow them to pass, it can be a bit annoying. This being said - come on groups! Let's not all take up the sidewalk. Share! If there is more than two of you, let's try staggering a bit so you leave plenty of walk space for the rest of us.

10. WALK AT YOUR OWN RISK.
While New Yorkers have been pigeon holed to be not-so-nice, it's bull shit! We are a very nice people - so long as you're not in our way. It's not that we are all about ourselves. Most of the time, especially during the work day, if we're out and about, we're moving form Point A to Point B and have to get there quickly. If you follow the above rules, it helps us out greatly! (And keeps us a nice people.)

HAPPY WALKING!!!!!!

Shtoppenzehein

2008-08-15T14:47:00.007-04:00

It'd be nice if you would stop doing what you're doing cuz it's giving me an ache and I don't understand why it's at all necessary cuz it ain't gunna do anybody any good and is just gunna make it harder and take longer to get back to the norm that we all know and enjoy so well.

So... stop.

Please?

Spike Lee ain't got nuttin' on these people:

2008-08-14T13:26:00.001-04:00

Trouble the Water

Gotta gotta see.

Darby's dead!!! But his new movie comes out today

2008-08-08T11:55:00.002-04:00

The Germs - No God

Asking for it

2008-08-06T16:11:00.003-04:00

So many people are asking for it. I'm ready to give them what they want. The good, the bad and the... Oh you have no idea how much I agree with you and what you want is equal to what you deserve. If I could give every single one of you what you're wanting... oh the karma that I would have.

fanacht

2008-08-01T15:42:00.004-04:00

I stepped into the wind of the waterside
And waited for the shiver to subside
Walking in its direction
Looking forward
Giving no wonder or thought
Of the moment
Nor the coming
Just giving step by step to myself
Breathing in
Breathing out
The salinity resuscitating

Don't mess...

2008-08-01T15:26:00.002-04:00

She's Hit (Live, 1983)
Birthday Party

Sexy then... sexy now. Don't care what you say, Dave and Mimi!

Fuck FlexPetz

2008-07-31T11:49:00.003-04:00

Some pricks out in California decided to take the rental industry one disgusting step too far:

http://www.flexpetz.com/

Rent a dog. Yeah. Who cares how it may effect the dogs. Go ahead - please yourself.
It doesn't matter if personalities clash.
It doesn't matter if the dog keeps feeling the sense of abandonment.
It doesn't matter if the dog becomes co-dependent and confused

Dogs don't have souls, therefore they don't have feelings!

So fuck them and what is best for them! If I want to have a dog to give back, I'll just call these assholes.

This List of Hate of mine is getting long.

We need...

2008-07-29T11:14:00.004-04:00

We need Baikal Seals in the Erie Basin. Cute cute!

San Francisco gets those big friggin seals - en masse:

Hell, Jersey gets dolphins:

And bears in Jersey, Connecticut and upstate:

It's only fair!!!

Anatomical Snuff Box

2008-07-28T14:08:00.000-04:00

After while I've had enough, but you just keep on giving. I straighten up, disassociate and try to ignore, but there you are giving me your all and making me miserable. Don't you have anything better to do?

sminde

2008-07-27T09:50:00.005-04:00

I can't decide if I find it amusing, annoying or pitiful. Probably a lil bit of everything. Definitely not feeling anger. Despite it all... there's nothing to do with it. Nothing I want to do with it... directly, at least. As of now.
Keep it up, tho, and... well... maybe that will change. But, as of now... I'll just kinda feel bad for having the first three feelings on the subject, along side with the bad feelings that you find the need to do as you are.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and I'll be nice about it... but only for so long. Keep it up, and I won't feel so bad about thinking the thoughts I first thought or feeling you evoked. And may have to say something directly.

BonJour W-end!!! Belly Up!!!!

2008-07-25T16:14:00.000-04:00

Dear Doppelganger

2008-07-25T13:06:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry I snuck out the way I did. You were sleeping so very peacefully and I didn't have the heart to wake you. Ok, actually, I didn't want to wake you because I didn't want to talk to you about it. I wanted to just disappear and get away as quickly and uneventfully as possible. Of course, on my way out, I stubbed my toe on that little lift at the doorway into your kitchen, and then nearly tumbled down those rickety stairs of yours in the corridor.

It was a beautiful walk. I slowly trailed myself down three stops along the park, just for kicks.

You're too sensitive. I didn't mean the things I said. Ok, yes, maybe I did. No. You should never make assumptions the way you do. I had no intention, nor should you have. But it's ok. We can laugh at it over pints some time. Not too soon, tho.

You didn't scare me. You never really do.

Cheers,
Al

It's an Elastica Kinda Day

2008-07-24T11:59:00.003-04:00

Ribbit

2008-07-24T11:40:00.000-04:00

I didn't anticipate the frog being there when the door opened. What's more, I didn't expect it to speak so eloquently... *Errrr, uhhhh, hey.* What a way with words.
All I could think to do was pat it on the head and say *Yup, hey.*

Fatty Fatty 2 by 4

2008-07-23T09:05:00.002-04:00

Jarvis Cocker
"Fat Children"
Live, Monday, July 21, 2008
Music Hall of Williamsburg
Brooklyn, NY

Today's Song'sa Good Day Song

2008-07-22T16:24:00.001-04:00

No harm... just foul.

2008-07-22T09:35:00.002-04:00

We would have preferred not to sit in those shadows and complain about you as long as we did... but we had to do something to pass the time. I, for one, really did enjoy it, nonetheless.
It's just so god damn easy. You set it up, yourself. And how you live within complete oblivion in such harmony... it's beyond me. It's a real shame, but hey - if you're enjoying that stupid bliss of yours, I'll enjoy the evil thoughts of what I'd like to do to you.

No harm... just foul.
Karma still in tact.

Ahhhh, God Love him

2008-07-18T09:37:00.003-04:00

Bush to G8: 'Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter'

Fuckhead Monkeyboy

Trunked

2008-07-17T14:50:00.000-04:00

Elephants don't have tear ducts.

Today's Ballad: Jarvis says...

2008-07-15T15:19:00.004-04:00

Don't do that... but wait... yeah... this is called a conundrum.

Lazy

2008-07-15T09:27:00.003-04:00

And there you go, off into your own. Leaving the smashed bits scattered, not taking the time to tidy up, dust off and make sure all in well. The immediate gratification isn't so immediate or gratifying anymore, so... you quit.
*Oh, it doesn't feel good anymore, therefore it won't ever again.*

Wow... give up that easily, huh?

When obligated, you stick it thru and eventually come back to the pleasure. Unless you're head is filled so much with contempt that you just make yourself miserable... which is usually what leads to the lack of immediate gratification, which then turns everything else to shit.

Yeah, Good job.

Come on now!

2008-07-11T17:04:00.001-04:00

Rar!!! Happy weekend time, y'all! I's going have fun now!!!!

Five (5)

2008-07-11T09:44:00.002-04:00

Teddeh Bear
Originally uploaded by vaduzuvunt

A mountaineer who just returned from scaling Mount Kilamanjaaro walks into a bar and asks for a free drink. The bartender, sensing an ominous chill in the air says, "well sir, I can't give you a free drink, but I can give you five jokes in five seconds."
"Shoot" replied the crest fallen mountain man.
It was at this time in the joke that the admittedly jumpy barkeep pulled out his pistol and beat the mountaineer to death in five easy blows.

Oil up? Hold my cigarette.

2008-07-10T23:27:00.005-04:00

Oil up? Hold my cigarette.
Originally uploaded by vaduzuvunt

Listen honey, what you need is a good night sleep.

Give to a good cause

2008-07-07T09:52:00.006-04:00

I need this puppy. This puppy needs me. Help us find each other. Help us be together.
Donations accepted...

Mimi...

2008-07-02T13:29:00.001-04:00

Cheers to Ethan for his random research skills.

Oh Ethan.... this is priceless

2008-07-01T15:42:00.002-04:00

The best part: 3:38 - Joe Elliott gives seductive Elvis eyes atcha!

Be not tooted

2008-07-01T10:09:00.003-04:00

Oh... was that for me? Ummm... thank you? I saw you there... just wasn't sure you saw me. But now... yeah, now I know. What's that? Oh wow, really? Gee, thanks. It's not every day I get that. So yeah... wow... yeah... ummm, does this really work for you? Do you really think it's gunna work with me? I mean... really? Hmmm... yeah, you know what? I'm gunna... I'm gunna have to just... pass. Yeah... but good luck with that. I'm sure there's someone out there who would be accepting of... you.

Ring of Voodoo

2008-06-30T11:38:00.003-04:00

Grrrrrrrr... it sucks when good things get wrecked! It freezes at 2:28. Fucker.

fade bright

2008-06-25T15:33:00.002-04:00

The impression has worn out and disappeared
Laundered away with the new clean
The question of when it will
Once again be there rises and falls
Moved on to other notices

It's so green there now
With bits of peach, purple and blue
Dancers of the air with savage teeth
Goodness reflects brighter
With a little bad in the space

Pace changed

Carbon Squish

2008-06-25T11:51:00.009-04:00

My carbon footprint is 4.299 tonnes. The average American is 20.4 tonnes. The average world wide is 4 tonnes, but needs to be 2 tonnes. I have some work to do.

http://www.carbonfootprint.com

Da Da Da

2008-06-24T15:32:00.002-04:00

My do was so easy to do when I didn't have the this to make the me think the different do that I do think of now. So, how do I do that do if this do doesn't influence that do to be done? I'd like to do the different do but the obviousness of the reason for the different do would just be too much do for me to do in such obvious fashion. I done do'ed too much already. Disregard and just keep on doing the do that's being done. I'll do it too.

Bye Bye Carlin

2008-06-23T11:21:00.003-04:00

Dirty Words...

ce v me v c

2008-06-20T13:30:00.002-04:00

Why are you doing this to me? I did what was asked of me. I followed thru. Now you're pulling this shit. Again. Why? Just take it and let's move on. This He says/She says crap has gotta stop.

Speck

2008-06-19T10:14:00.002-04:00

When I first came upon it, I didn't know what to make of it. I figured it was an accident waiting to happen, but then I realized it already did. Tho I knew I was innocent to the debacle, I knew if I was caught here I'd be to blame. So, I quickly took pace and picked it up as rapidly as I could go. I refused to look back, fearing the salt, but I heard something fast approaching and knew the gig was gunna be up if I didn't keep truckin'.
Feeling my heart racing, out of both adrenaline and fear, I worked myself harder to get a good distance from whatever it was back there. But alas, it stayed on my heels.
All of a sudden, down I went. Don't know if it tripped me up or I, as I sometimes do, tripped myself up. But, down I went. My first instinct caused me to curl up in a little ball and wait for the blows. After a few seconds of nothing, I took a peak... there I was... alone. Ain't nothing was following me. All I saw was my shadow there... laughing at me.

ooops...sigh

2008-06-18T17:55:00.002-04:00

...and when the moment came and went, and you realized the regret that was befallen and attempted to proclaim amends, but none was given, I could hear your sigh across the bridge and into the waterfront where I stood wishing to forgive, but unable to forget and move on.

Plot Keywords: Spoiler Ale

2008-06-18T00:08:00.001-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Doctor Morgus the Magnificent:

If you don't know who this genius is, look him up! Growing up with this man in NOLA was one of the best parts of growing up in NOLA. Live and learn!

Manichean

2008-06-17T15:49:00.003-04:00

Give too much to someone who deserves too little.
Denial is an ugly color, and the other wears it disgustingly well.
The hate of the idea of hope being wasted on dead history.
Evolution means growth for one, loss for another.
Survival of the fittest kicks in and someone's gunna lose.
Make sure there's only one loser.

And that it's not you.

Nick Drake's voice is the sound of smoke.

Nick... breathless (he leaves me)

2008-06-17T10:15:00.004-04:00

I was gunna go for Billy Squier dancing around in pastel tees that he rips off his pasty white chest while singing about wanting someone to rock him in her/his arms... but, it's a happy bright day, and I'm wearing a bright pink dress.

tease

2008-06-16T16:27:00.005-04:00

If I were to say what could be said, the obvious would be known. Would it make for conversation? Vanity? Insecurity? Which of my own? If I were to give the words to this, would you think they were about you? Would you assume as such and let it inflate like a balloon? Would it raise you up? Or both of us? Would it lead for more speculation and concern? Eventually would it pop? From too much air or the prick of someone's needle?

Make no assumptions of who *you* are... Just know I'm having fun with this.

Boxed in.

2008-06-16T12:33:00.003-04:00

I feel the need to express myself more clearly than I usually do.

I see and hear of the growth of the monster, and it's lil parasites coming around and slowly amassing a space no one of tenure wants to relinquish. The consensus has been NO, but now that it's coming around, a lot of YES and promotional commentary there of.

No. Don't want. Leave. Go. Stop. Turn around. Fuck off. Die?

I'm thinking...

...rotten fruit... fire crackers... bull horns in the middle of the night... sling shots and frozen grapes... eggs...

posneg

2008-06-15T10:59:00.000-04:00

Rendered soundless in a moment of chaos.

Oh PJ

2008-06-13T09:40:00.002-04:00

rocker

2008-06-12T15:27:00.002-04:00

When we set this thing up, we knew it would be brief... give or take. We knew it wouldn't have much effort, meaning, thought, consideration, time or even want invested into it, so when the end grew nigh there would be no worries or woes, anger or confusion, disappointment or pain. Why oh why, then, now that this time has come, the consensus isn't as agreed and everything isn't as said it would be? It shouldn't be taken personally. It shouldn't be anything more than the evolution we one day knew would be. Times change. Let them.

.

2008-06-11T14:48:00.000-04:00

The river felt she wanted salt.

trek

2008-06-10T15:51:00.002-04:00

Defrocked gardens of modern apartheid given to the face of the animals, taught of its own survival in the monumental cliff's wind and the cloud's fallen tears. Back into the pocket, mixed in with the fronds and petals. The superimposed vision of the broken line rocked the momentary vision of yellow and green, turning cold and blue as the sky fell.

PS - I did your don't. And I hate it.

ahem

2008-06-09T12:08:00.005-04:00

I can control that part of the do that I do, but I can't control the don't you do. There's no reason for me to try and change your don't to do, despite the do you don't do would be good for you, and I certainly have no intention on changing my do to your don't. It's just one of those things, I guess.
So, I'll just continue the do and hope you eventually come around to do the same thing. But, I'll be damned if I'm gunna do more of the other do's that i do that don't get no do from you.

Fuck you.

You suck. You know what you're doing is wrong, but you chose to do it anyway. You know you're destructive and cold and pointless, but still you travel that path.

And no,
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to you.

To the Gov't

2008-06-09T10:31:00.003-04:00

"Hypocrite" - Lush

To the Chicks

2008-06-09T10:14:00.003-04:00

"Ladykiller" - Lush

For Da...

2008-06-06T13:39:00.003-04:00

January 24, 1930 to June 6/7, 1997

For Mimi

2008-06-05T14:49:00.003-04:00

Hee Haws Where Oh Where Are You Tonight With Johnny Cash | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Refuse

2008-06-05T12:47:00.003-04:00

I stepped up to the matter and figured the facts were all fucked up
Ignoring the ultraviolet shining halo above your head
Knowing full well it was made of pyrite and muscinae.
You tickled the concept with a ridiculous rhyme
But fell short of the purpose behind your shadow words.
I dissolved from reason and treated you to quite a sight.
With open eyes blinded from all else,
You said my name and started the cycle all over again.
Cold heat radiated off your skin,
Burning my eyes and being unforgiving to my cries.
Pretend the truth isn't and the lies are.
Far we go into the absence of wonder not.
Do well.

wicky... and a 2

2008-06-05T12:41:00.000-04:00

Ohhhh long ago...

2008-06-04T16:35:00.002-04:00

drip drip drip

2008-06-03T14:10:00.004-04:00

What makes a person think that it's ok to think that it's fine to believe that all's well when you think you can believe that there is no problem feeling like the thing you think about is ok to be thought, though it may only be ok to think that you can believe it, but not believe that it's ok to think about it and definitely not ok to think about the feeling the thought you believe is a feeling in fact, but is really just something you think you believe is a feeling, but it's really just a thought?

Roscoe's Cuckoo

2008-06-03T11:46:00.003-04:00

Free will

2008-06-02T10:17:00.005-04:00

Is it any wonder this isn't real?
Ignored for the truth is too...
Lost in the ignorance which we deem bliss.
Given away too much.
The finger's in the crack in the dam,
Just don't remove it.
Durge and muck gush forth
Onto the pretty flowers.
But the sun still shines down.
Safe in the lack of judgment.
Lucky duck.

Today's Ballad: Concrete

2008-06-02T10:07:00.001-04:00

12

2008-06-02T00:02:00.001-04:00

Taken to the brink.

holiday

2008-06-01T10:41:00.004-04:00

The new faces were fresh air to breath.
Watered down by the lightening's joyous tears.
Cleaned of the trials of what is the norm.
Cobbled into the path.
Forgotten for just a moment of the broken stones.
Refreshed and rejuvenated.
Found now what is woed.
Go with new thought into the sky.
Forget what is known.
It doesn't do any good.
Walk away with the melodica play.
A hope the old follow with smiles.

Dear Kinetic...

2008-05-31T15:23:00.003-04:00

Forgotten me, did you?
When did you realize I was not there anymore? Paranoid memories of why I left in the first place came back and made me run again. I didn't mean to make you cry, it's just how I have to be. Hard. I'm a good person tho, and did so with positive intent. It's best for both of us, you know.
Besides, I see you smiling. You're happy. We both are. Five times I recalled your pout and that funny way you would say *monkey.* Charming. All good thoughts... the bad times forgotten somewhere deep in a shoe box covered with stickers, under gum ball machine toys, bouncy balls and newspaper clippings of adventures others have had.
What happened to the Scooby Doo purple? Did you leave it behind after a thunderstorm? Makes sense to me.

I wrote you a story backwards last night. It had a happy beginning.