grrr

i find myself in a position to want and not want at the same time. i am not satisfied with the idea that i am the one who makes things happen. i am not satisfied that i am the one to make effort. i am not satisfied with the concept of out of sight out of mind. yes, i have been guilty of this before myself, but because i know how that feels, i try not to do that to others. even if it's simply a quick hello instead of an invitation to an outing, it's a nice jesture to let someone know you're thinking of them. i'd much prefer to do without you if you are this type of person. i'd rather move on than wonder if you have any intention on living up to the standards you set yourself up with.