Dear Kinetic...

Forgotten me, did you?
When did you realize I was not there anymore? Paranoid memories of why I left in the first place came back and made me run again. I didn't mean to make you cry, it's just how I have to be. Hard. I'm a good person tho, and did so with positive intent. It's best for both of us, you know.
Besides, I see you smiling. You're happy. We both are. Five times I recalled your pout and that funny way you would say *monkey.* Charming. All good thoughts... the bad times forgotten somewhere deep in a shoe box covered with stickers, under gum ball machine toys, bouncy balls and newspaper clippings of adventures others have had.
What happened to the Scooby Doo purple? Did you leave it behind after a thunderstorm? Makes sense to me.

I wrote you a story backwards last night. It had a happy beginning.

Frogs

*Parlez français?*
"Nope."
*Je pense que vous regarderiez très gentil dans mon lit*
"I understood that."
*Oui? Ooh la la. Pardonnez moi. Hi hi hi!*
"Dirty ole pervert."
*Oui.*

Yeah, he understands English.
And I understand a lil French.

...

Oh, there you are. Ummm... where'd you go? Mind if I... Oh, ummmm oh, yeah... Sorry, didn't mean to... No, no it's no problem. I understand. You just keep... I'll be over here if you want to... Yeeeeeah...

Today's Ballad: Electric Alice

beg your pardon

giggle giggle
hiccup
burp

ha

Preferable

I'd rather you beat the shit out of me than fuck with my head. At least I can see the need and attempt to defend myself.

Today's Ballad: Burned

.

Alone, with too much generosity
A theatre mask of hostility attracts
Assaults occur, infrequently
And those who come, to conquer?
Need strength
But damage accumulates
Still moving him to tears
Retained a sense of humour

Today's Ballad: Sugar, Matto

Mass

I felt your weight in my sleep, but felt nothing in my dream.

However...

In dream you were present, in sleep you were not.

Quite a confusing situation to stir in and out of.

Which way would be preferred? Of you? Of me?

It best, probably, for neither. But the vie of both exists.

(Tho, neither wish to admit it.)

I guess all that can be done is what is being done... nothing.

It was better before. But it was also torture. I got one thing with the other.

But the good was so damn good... as the bad was so damn bad.

I suspect it isn't over. And I hope I am correct.

Curiosity may destroy us both...

...but oh what a wonderful way to go.

Rumor mills

I heard that you did what you said you would never do cuz doing what is said was done was really not something a person like you would do no matter what cuz that's just not like you to do such things that are said you have done. Did you hear that I did what you are rumored to have done tho it's just not in me to do such a thing but apparently it is in me cuz that's what I've heard.

Sober up...

Secrete

Being in the know is a very dirty place.

And now...

It is time to go play in the garden of earthly delight. I just hope I don't stub my toe, trip and fall into the weeds.

touché

Are you making the music to mention the moment that makes the thought of the feeling of the past flood the mind and create a frustration that can't be contained and so touchés come back at you?

Sunny Afternoon

I could tell that the moment it happened I was doomed. But I love such troubles - keeps the blood pumping on high speed and makes for nice additions to my jaded cynicism. Gives me opportunity to say *fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck* more often too.

It didn't intentionally come about as it happened. and I do apologize if it was offensive. I meant it not to be. (Ok, well, maybe a little.) But you did ask for it, so I gave it to you. Don't be disappointed. I meant it - every last moment of it. I could have done without the dirt, but I suppose it is to be expected in cases like this.

Everyday, you asked me if I knew the reason you asked the questions, but my reply was always the same, and met with great disappointment. Can I help it if I cannot read your mind and supply you with what you want to hear? I do sincerely apologize, but it's just utter silliness for you to assume such obligation on my part. I do find you quite fetching, tho, and do intend to find out the answers of my own. fear not and hold great patience. Ziggy will sing.

Now, you will have to excuse me as I extinguish this conversation and frolic outside in the sunshine and dodge the bullets - trying to ignore the state of affairs in other places.

Doomsday is fast approaching, and I feel the need for a smile or two.

aD

A friend told me about you, tonight. How quick you went away. How long it's been since you've been gone, and how... how I have never, nor will ever, see you again. The last moment of your face is burned to my brain. The smile in your eyes, the pain in my heart. There seemed to be so little, but there was so much. I didn't realize either until you were gone. If I could, I would suffer forever so that you did not. You're missed. And needed. If only you were here, now. These tears would fall for different reason. Your smile would be in my eyes. And there would be no pain in my heart. I hope wherever you are, you are. Happy. Rested. Relaxed. Loved. For here, you are missed.

dear imbecile...

you: You should hurl a moon pie my way
me: I think I heard my brain sneeze just now
you: Ok! I just heard the voices again, they're having a puppet show
me: Huh? Oh, ummmm... I dunno - just another murdered brain cell
you: Nervous twitch goin on...
you: If you could lick anything for the rest of your life, what would you lick?
me: So, ummmm... yeah, criminally insane I think
you: Two reasons: ummm, cuz I said so and cuz you better
me: I just wanted to make your head explode
me: The need... the urge... the constant want of... a moon pie
you: Nipple

My 3-day weekend plan...

Today's Ballad: Dark Globe