Wanton

There are these people I know... lots of them, actually... that I normally share one common bind - drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. As of late, however, I have not been so inclined, nor so physically able to do so in the joyous of ceremonies that we together normally subscribe, which is any old damn time and reason to do it. This makes me sad and feel dissected from the life I know so well. At the same time, however, at least I got rid of the belly that was slowly beering out in all directions. Not purdy.

So, what am I to do? Not a damn thing. For you see, with this unplanned lack of drunkenness, also comes an unplanned disinterest. I want to want to drink. I want to want to be around drunks. I want to want to go to the watering holes. I want to want to wake up hung over and wondering *oh dear christ... did I make a total ass out of myself last night?*

But I don't want. What I do want, other than the wants I want to want, is to have the option to do what I want, instead of what I am able to do, which isn't what I want to do.