The one time that it could have been the better way to be, and the decision to be worse was taken. How about that? Happy? Proud? Yeah, ummm, no.
Any way things can be repaired? Bettered? Changed? Not sure.
All that can be figured of the whole mess is how to better the self and come away knowing the worse, while easy to think about and deal with in the moment, in the long run just ain't so right.