Toby

Tobias "Toby" Allen



So... I use to know this guy. We were roommates, briefly, down in New Orleans in this giant haunted (heh) house on St. Charles Ave. He was quite the odd fellow, with modest pride. Toby.
I met him on the front porch of a mutual friend over on Constantinople St. He was staying with the chick, who's name I now forget, but not Toby. If I recall correctly, he had just moved back to New Orleans from Seattle. (He liked to go back and forth between the two cities.)
He looked like a filthy surfer dude from California (Northern, not Southern) - chin length stringy beach blonde hair, blue eyes, perpetual tan. He had a wicked smile, but with no actual evil intent. He wouldn't even kill a roach. He did, however, have a passion for the evil. Mainly - serial killers. He collected their art. Wrote about them. Befriended them. He even created a board game - Let's Play - http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/visualart/348657_deadlygame25.html !!!

He and I clicked over the common focus we shared on the West Memphis Three (WM3.org). He was "friends" (prison type pen pals), with Damien Echols. Eventually, he would make introductions between Damien and myself, which was much appreciated and correspondence between us, for a time, commenced.
I always had the morbid interest in serial killers... Toby was just someone who took it many more steps further than I. He collected their art. He corresponded with them. He took calls from them, visited them, pursued them. His top three conquests - Charles Manson, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer. He was planning to go up to try and see if he could get a visit with Dahmer, but... well, we all know how that story ended soon after his incarceration.
Anyso, he and I took refuge in this old house on St Charles Ave. It use to be a gentleman's quarters for traveling salesmen types to there were a few residents. Anne Rice made a big stink about us because apparently she grew up across the street from it, and it inspired her to write some stupid Memnoch vampire book, and she didn't want a bunch of neredowells inhabiting what she considered a sacred landmark.

Here's the house:



It wasn't this nice and polished up when we lived there. It was 1000$ a month for the whole thing. It was mainly kept within the same concept as it was first used, but chicks were living there as well. During the few months I lived there (yes, only a few - I couldn't handle that life style for very long), there was a new face almost every week that lived there.

John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) use to call him collect. He said Gacy always had this creepy way of bellowing out his name when the recorded prompted him *Inmate, state your name,* like it pissed him off that he had to do as told or something. Ramirez has a thing for Asian girls, and Toby took it upon himself to lead him to think I was Asian. I think that was even creeper.
Ramirez use to draw cartoon characters on his letters to Toby. Once he told me he would send me a drawing... I (fortunately?) never got it.

Anyso, to get to the point of this part of my tale, Toby had this painting that scared the bajebus out of me. He and I shared a bedroom (no... we were always Just Friends), and this face would stare at me as I slept - the background and the eyes glowing in the dark at me:


Elvis by John Wayne Gacy

I'm not 100% positive this is the exact painting... but I am 97.3% positive it is. I remember the background to be a more orangy color... but the computer image could play trick with my eyes or what have you.


Ok... so, I believe it was around summer of 1998 that Toby picked up and moved back West to Seattle. We lost touch, which isn't all that surprising. It's been 10 years.
However, when I was on my travels in 2000, I did hunt a bit for him... and have done so on and off (mostly off) over the years.

In 2000, a documentary came out called The Collectors came out about Toby and his friend/partner Rick Stanton (whom I believe I met once when he came down from Baton Rouge to hang out with Toby), and their art collecting and exhibition. (I've not been able to get my hands on this documentary, but would love to.)
This was the last I ever saw of anything pertaining to Toby.

Years passed... every once in a while, I would try and find him thru Myspace or google searches or whatnot. But, never could get anywhere. All I would come across was the Collectors sites.

This morning, for no real reason, I decided to do a google search for Tobias Allen. The third link read:

Should the Mariners Be Charged with Manslaughter? | Slog | The ...
Sep 12, 2007 ... According to the Seattle Times, police identified the body as Tobias Allen, whose death authorities will attribute to suicide. ...
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/09/should_the_mariners_be_charged_with_mans

In the above link was a link to the following page containing the following:

Last Days -

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 [2007] The week continues with an exceedingly well-documented Seattle suicide, first noted around 11:00 p.m. last night, when 911 dispatchers received a call about a body seen floating in Lake Washington. According to the Seattle Times, police identified the body as Tobias Allen, whose death authorities will attribute to suicide. According to his MySpace profile, Allen was a 39-year-old single Libra with a penchant for the Mariners, existential drama, and exclamation points. "Most days it feels/seems that most people are mindless fucking sheep," wrote Allen in his MySpace blog on June 15 [sic throughout]. "I'm talking about the people that actually waste presious oxygine talking about Paris Hell-ton. Who gives a fuck? Vapid little bitch... look, now I'm doing it! Thank the powers that be that the aurora bridge is only minutes away. I may need it soon!" By August 4, things were looking up: "Just when I was ready to give up on another summer.... my sweet sweet M's start kicking ass! I'm about to grin, or cry, or something. This has been one of THEE LAMEST summers of my life, to date. I was really going nuts. Then the mighty M's start kickin some ass! I guess, if they can do it, so can I! I have to see the end of the season! Maybe I will turn 40...." He didn't. RIP Tobias Allen, whom interested parties can see in the 2000 documentary Collectors, chronicling the nation's premier serial-killer enthusiasts. (In addition to Mariners and MySpace, Allen appreciated art made by serial killers. Go figure.)





So... wow. Dead. Gone.

I don't find it all that far fetched of Toby to commit suicide. I find it somewhat hard to believe that he would do it over a baseball team, tho. Not going to expound much on who he was, personally and privately. He was a wonderful person with a great heart. But... he, like many, had his own issues, that are not my business to tell others.
All I know is that it kinda sucks having this confirmation that he ain't around anymore. Though it wasn't a big mission, the fact that I've attempted to find him over the years, despite my failure every time, kept him going in my life, even if I hadn't seen him in a decade.
And, at least three times since his death, he was still alive as far as one person was concerned. Now that I found him (sort of), I could say *Ok, done.* But, it just leads me to wonder what kind of send off he was given by his friends.

Hmmm... maybe I should contact his old buddy Rick?

Anyso... there you go. Toby Allen. Sorry.

all none

You scare me. I don't like you one bit. You do what you want, but leave nothing to show for it... and I have a bad memory, so that doesn't help me in fond ways.
So, what am I suppose to do? What option do you give me? None... that I know of. I just have to bide time, focus on need over want, do without, hope and wish, and wait and see.

The knee

A brilliant evolutionary feat. We have the ability to do so may amazing things with these two lil knobs. Jump, skip, walk, run, moonwalk, dance, kick ass and dozens of sports that call for the side-to-side movement.
So, with all these abilities, we need to be protective and appreciative of these two lil guys.
So, word to the wise - when you're styling up on the a bar, then jumping up and over barstools with the intention to land properly on your two conversed feet, assuming everything else will fall into proper place with you... think again, and climb down properly and walk to your destination.
Otherwise, Mr. ACL and Mr. Meniscus won't be too happy with you, as is the case with yours truly, and you'll have to see Mr. Doctor about getting surgery on the ligament duo, as is again the case with yours truly come October 15.

Yay me. Thanks to all who have given your well wishes, booze, rides, laughs, fun pokings and just all around friendship and concern. Once I'm up and running (not bouncing, jumping or twisting, mind you), I shall make it up to all of you with a big pot of gumbo.

The worst about it

The Silence
The Smell
The Missing Posters

Love love love

Grinderman
Man in the Moon
from
Dig, Lazarus Dig!

Yeah ummm no

Why is it the ones who's asses we Don't want to see are typically the ones we do see?



Fasion Week - Brooklyn Style
Originally uploaded by vaduzuvunt

Feh

I feel very strongly against stupid people. They're stupid.

Oooo colors!!!

It's pretty in this way, eh? It's actually kinda cool while it's happening... so long as it ain't as bad as, say, Katrina.

This is Gustav. He didn't hate on New Orleans. But, he was hating on Baton Rouge pretty mean like.

For those who asked, thanks - My family is a-okay.
Tain't got no electricity, but they're not flooded out, they're not hurt, they're not seriously damaged. Well... inside they're homes they're not. Won't know how the exterior of their houses or yards are until day light.

I hate being so far away when this shit is happening. I feel like I've broken some sort of pact or a dereliction of duty not being there en guard against hurricanes. But... that's the way it goes, I guess.

Anyso... yeah, thanks for the concern. It's much appreciated.

(In similar news - on our way home from Asheville, NC, this afternoon, we were passed by convoy after convoy of electricity cherry picker trucks heading South. We assume to Louisiana to aid. That was relieving to see. Didn't count, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were over 200 that passed us in a matter of 6 hours time. Yeah... somebody made a good call ahead of time. That's good.)

Give blood...

...they're taking it anyway.

So... it's been quite a skeeter summer, deep in the heart (or bowels?) of Red Hook. Hell, all of Brooklyn, it seems. Why, we have all asked, are there so many frigging monsters pricking into any and every bit of exposed skin (and some creepin' up under some folks' clothes, wink wink nudge nudge)? Well... Some guy called Gersh found out:



Buzz off!
By Gersh Kuntzman
The Brooklyn Paper

People from Greenpoint to Bay Ridge have been complaining about “being eaten alive” by mosquitos this summer — but it’s not just the normal seasonal whining: the population of a particularly insidious blood-sucker has doubled this summer alone.

And that cute tyke below is one of the prime victims!

Sure, he’s my son, but he could be your son. In fact, he is your son. And daughter. And yourself.

After getting sporadic, unconfirmed and altogether unscientific reports that there has been a huge uptick in skeeters this summer, I called the Health Department to find out if my neighbors and I were just going mad or if we really become human blood banks.

Confirmed: We are insect food.

The Asian tiger mosquito — a species once entirely unknown to America — is showing up in record numbers in Health Department testing sites all over the borough.

And unlike normal, relatively slow and less aggressive breeds, this ornery beast is ruining barbecues, turning restaurant gardens into feedlots (for the bug, that is) and, yes, biting my son in so many places that he looks like a pincushion.

“It has been a good summer for mosquito [breeding], weather-wise,” said Dr. Edgar Butts, the Health Department’s assistant commissioner for vetinary and pest control.

“The bad news is that the Asian tiger mosquito has doubled in population. And this is a tenacious mosquito that will really go after you,” Butts said.

“The good news is that it’s not a good vector for West Nile Virus,” he added, putting in his department’s standard plea for people to report all standing water in the city’s ongoing effort to cut down on West Nile–carrying bugs.

I agree that disease-prevention is one good reason to call 311 whenever you see a water-filled tire. And of course, I’m concerned that my son’s only memories of his first summer on earth will be that of repetitive scratching and vague recollections of waking up screaming in pain.
Brooklyn Bridge Realty

But there’s yet another reason to bemoan the fertility of the Asian tiger mosquito: They’re even biting our beloved celebrities!

“They’re with us — especially in Brooklyn, where I live,” Park Slope resident and international screen siren Maggie Gyllenhaal told David Letterman last month, during a weird digression about mosquitos. “They’re insaaaane in Brooklyn.”

Yes, my friends, if you’ve been bitten by a mosquito this summer, you may have a blood link to Maggie Gyllenhaal.

But the “Dark Knight” star isn’t the only one who’s hearing a giant sucking sound coming from her leg.

“Everyone is complaining,” said Carlos Elias, the co-owner of the new restaurant Aji on Ninth Street in Park Slope. The restaurant is heavily dependent on its two outdoor seating areas (they’re lovely, by the way), which he says are not getting the kind of traffic they could be getting.

Posters on Park Slope Parents, the ubiquitous neighborhood Web site, have been trading secrets about which repellents work best (full disclosure: I have put so much DEET on my arms that I set off smoke detectors in neighboring houses) and whether the “mosquito season” will be over by September so a friend can go ahead and plan an outdoor birthday party.

Not sufficiently horrified? Well, let me tell you a few choice words about our “friend,” Aedes albopictus. Originally spotted in Texas in 1985, this pernicious little devil now has a range that spreads from Mexico to Greenpoint, though his main stomping grounds seem to be the Bible Belt (for now).

According to the Centers for Disease Control (and these people should know; they’re based in Atlanta!), the tiger mosquito is “an aggressive day-biter and is most active from 10 am to 3 pm.”

And their eggs “can survive very cold winters.”

Here’s hoping that we go into a mini–Ice Age this December. Otherwise, these mosquitos are coming back in full force next spring and carrying off my son as their love slave.
Gersh Kuntzman is the Editor of The Brooklyn Paper. E-mail Gersh at kuntzman@brooklynpaper.com

©2008 The Brooklyn Paper

I coulda done that

OH wait... I did!

So... apparently some hoidy toid of the Times took it upon himself to declare the need for rules to walking.

David Rakoff's Walk This Way

Of course, ego steps up and makes me wanna declare *I said it first!* (MY Rules of Walking) and maybe even add *And I said it better!* Mind you, this guy did add the annoyance of dog leashes and texters... but other than that, he missed so much.

So, in declaration of my wonder and ego, and to even go so far as to update with more declarations on how to appropriately pass thru the world without the imposition of your existence on others, I give you:



THE Rules of Walking:

Ok... for years, I've endured the ignorance, but now I can't take no more! This city needs to set some ground rules, and they need to be posted on every subway train, platforms, and listed on those stupid TV monitors at the tops of the subway entrances. We're a city of 8 million, and then some, with all the tourist coming and going. Let's work together people!

It's not difficult people. We just have to THINK. Common sense! But, since some people are less equipped with such sense than others, I'll spell it out for you:

Walk in the City like you would drive anywhere in America!

1. WALK TO THE RIGHT.
You're in America!
There's no need for millions of people to constantly dance with others they clearly aren't interested in dancing with. And, being a girl who can't dance, and seeing as Murphy's Law always gives me some dipshit to dance with - I think this is one rule that should definitely be enforced. I won't inflict my moves on anyone if everyone just walks to the right!

2. YIELD.
When coming out of a store, don't just walk right out into the side walk where there's already people moving to and fro. Come on! You wouldn't just drive out in the middle of an intersection or merge onto the interstate without looking and yielding.
Also, when exiting stores... What causes a person to walk out onto the sidewalk and just stop? Does the brightness of the sun or the falling of the rain or the moon in the sky surprise you and cause you to be like a deer in headlights? Don't do that. There's a whole building right behind you. If you want to step out of the store and stop, step out and to the right or left and stop next to the building. You wouldn't just drive out in the middle of an intersection and decide there which way you want to go.

3. NO SUDDEN STOPS.
The only time there can really be a valid excuse is if a person drops something. If you suddenly realize you're going the wrong way, a friend of yours tells you something shocking, something or someone catches your attention, you forget something and need to turn around - don't just stop right there!

4. LOOK BEHIND YOU BEFORE TURNING OR STOPPING.
For all of the above actions, particularly in number 3 - the least you can do is look behind you and see if your impending actions will disrupt the motion of another. Simple as that!

5. WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE.
I ain't cop, but if I was and I saw some jerk swerving and veering, I'd pull him over and see if he'd been drinking. (Actually, I wouldn't cuz I just don't care enough. But the point is...) When walking, try and make it a straight line. Stay on your path, and out of others'!

6. DON'T STOP AT THE TOP OF THE SUBWAY STAIRS.
I always end up finding myself walking up the stairs behind one of these people. You get to the top and just stop and stand there. Yeah, sure you may be trying to get your bearings - but you can do that if you just step to the side (again, next to a building is a great spot!), and figure what you wanna do then.

7. IT'S CALLED A SIDEWALK FOR A REASON.
Move move move!!! Don't just stand there talking with people, figuring out where you want to go or where you are, or just look up gazing at the buildings. Do all that out of the way of the walk way.

8. SLOWER PACERS, WALK TO RIGHT.
On the interstate, the rule is - if you're going to drive slower, stay in the right lane so others can pass you on the left. This can apply with walking. The busier people can move around you, and you're less likely to have a collision with a stopped person standing to the side. (Like a stalled car on the side of the road.)

9. RALLIES DON'T TAKE UP THE WHOLE ROAD.
Nearly everyone has experienced a motorcycle rally. It can be a little thrill to see them cruise by, when you're just wandering about. But if you're stuck in your car waiting for the police escort to allow them to pass, it can be a bit annoying. This being said - come on groups! Let's not all take up the sidewalk. Share! If there is more than two of you, let's try staggering a bit so you leave plenty of walk space for the rest of us.

10. WALK AT YOUR OWN RISK.
While New Yorkers have been pigeon holed to be not-so-nice, it's bull shit! We are a very nice people - so long as you're not in our way. It's not that we are all about ourselves. Most of the time, especially during the work day, if we're out and about, we're moving form Point A to Point B and have to get there quickly. If you follow the above rules, it helps us out greatly! (And keeps us a nice people.)


HAPPY WALKING!!!!!!

Shtoppenzehein

It'd be nice if you would stop doing what you're doing cuz it's giving me an ache and I don't understand why it's at all necessary cuz it ain't gunna do anybody any good and is just gunna make it harder and take longer to get back to the norm that we all know and enjoy so well.

So... stop.



Please?

Spike Lee ain't got nuttin' on these people:

Trouble the Water

Gotta gotta see.

Darby's dead!!! But his new movie comes out today

The Germs - No God

Asking for it

So many people are asking for it. I'm ready to give them what they want. The good, the bad and the... Oh you have no idea how much I agree with you and what you want is equal to what you deserve. If I could give every single one of you what you're wanting... oh the karma that I would have.

fanacht

I stepped into the wind of the waterside
And waited for the shiver to subside
Walking in its direction
Looking forward
Giving no wonder or thought
Of the moment
Nor the coming
Just giving step by step to myself
Breathing in
Breathing out
The salinity resuscitating

Don't mess...

She's Hit (Live, 1983)
Birthday Party

Sexy then... sexy now. Don't care what you say, Dave and Mimi!

Fuck FlexPetz

Some pricks out in California decided to take the rental industry one disgusting step too far:

http://www.flexpetz.com/

Rent a dog. Yeah. Who cares how it may effect the dogs. Go ahead - please yourself.
It doesn't matter if personalities clash.
It doesn't matter if the dog keeps feeling the sense of abandonment.
It doesn't matter if the dog becomes co-dependent and confused

Dogs don't have souls, therefore they don't have feelings!

So fuck them and what is best for them! If I want to have a dog to give back, I'll just call these assholes.

This List of Hate of mine is getting long.

We need...

We need Baikal Seals in the Erie Basin. Cute cute!



San Francisco gets those big friggin seals - en masse:



Hell, Jersey gets dolphins:



And bears in Jersey, Connecticut and upstate:



It's only fair!!!

Anatomical Snuff Box

After while I've had enough, but you just keep on giving. I straighten up, disassociate and try to ignore, but there you are giving me your all and making me miserable. Don't you have anything better to do?

sminde

I can't decide if I find it amusing, annoying or pitiful. Probably a lil bit of everything. Definitely not feeling anger. Despite it all... there's nothing to do with it. Nothing I want to do with it... directly, at least. As of now.
Keep it up, tho, and... well... maybe that will change. But, as of now... I'll just kinda feel bad for having the first three feelings on the subject, along side with the bad feelings that you find the need to do as you are.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and I'll be nice about it... but only for so long. Keep it up, and I won't feel so bad about thinking the thoughts I first thought or feeling you evoked. And may have to say something directly.