Thursday, May 22, 2008


You came into my mind last night when I was cleaning it out. I had forgotten the words you had said, the actions you did, the lies you told, and the acceptance I gave. But your return brought it all back to me.

We fell into a crevice and slowly tried to climb out. You got ahead of me. I found myself losing my grip and falling back down deeper into it. You didn't turn to help me. You kept moving up, not even turning back to see if I was following. When I hit the bottom, I looked up to see a small speck of you reaching the light and climbing out. I could hear you dusting yourself off. That's when you noticed I wasn't there. Faintly, I heard you call my name, the polite thing to do, but with no conviction, concern or intention of really wanting to find and help me. Rather than trying again, I just laid there on my back, looking up at the slit of light and your shadow standing over. Then you moved away. For the longest time, I stayed there, til the night started to move in and dim the light of day.

I find myself still lying there, somewhat content on just staying as is. But I see my mind climbing, fighting with all its might to reach the top... a little curious if you are there. I know you are not. And I'm kind of glad about that. Did you leave to not return, or to get a rope to lower down to me? No matter. I'm in this alone and only I can get myself out. I've tried to always avoid needing someone else's help when I get in sticky situations. I certainly don't expect your help. Nor do I want it. Please don't be there.

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